Lately, I have been coming across articles, tweets, and statements made by young women that I find highly upsetting. This week in particular, I encountered multiple occurrences of young women demoralizing one another. The most infuriating of circumstances happened to be an eighteen year old young lady who shared an article that discussed the most common clothing sizes for American women in today's society. In this article, statistical data was given, indicating that the average American woman is anywhere from a size sixteen to a size eighteen. This young lady, let's call her Sally for convenience, commented: "why are we celebrating that the average American woman is overweight?" It struck a nerve.
Now, before we get too lost in our outcries to be logical, let me explain to you why this bothered me. I do not claim to be a feminist. I do not scream, cry, and rage for equality; I work for it. I don't shudder when a man cat-call's me on a street, I throw my shoulders back and walk on. I don't fear that I will be abused, I have been there and back already. I am a strong woman. I am a brave woman. Most importantly, I am a woman.
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I am the woman who will one day carry a child inside of my body for nine months if God allows. I am the woman who will watch my frame grow and stretch in order to harbor new life. I am the woman who will stare at stretch marks and decide whether or not I am disgusted or proud. I will gain weight, I will lose weight. I will gain muscle, I will lose muscle. I will be called "thick" by many, and I will love it.
I will love my body because I am a woman. I was put on this earth for a multitude of reasons, the most important being to fulfill God's will, and let me tell you, not once does God ask you to be 6'0, blonde hair, blue eyes and 120 lbs. Not once does He desire you to have a heaving chest or killer hind-end. Not once does He require you to leave your house looking like Kylie Jenner. Matter of fact, He could not give a rip about outward appearances.
So why then are we so perturbed with outward appearances? Why then are we the generation to call for "equality" and "love" and turn our noses up at women larger than us? Why then do we allowed hatred to be spewed because a single person's ideal form of beauty is not met by the average woman?
Quite frankly, I don't have the answer. Regardless of the answers, progress can and should be made. Young women should not be raised up believing in an ideal body type, no matter what media throws at them. Parents should not make any derogatory comment about a child's body. Children should be taught that they are powerful, beautiful, and brilliant.
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” – Lucille Ball
See, what "Sally" doesn't know is that she is the product of her environment. She will reap whatever seed has been sowed within her heart, regardless of how aware she is in a situation. When Sally looks at the size twelve woman sitting next to her on the bus, she won't stop to ask herself if this woman is an active sufferer from an endocrine disease that makes her unable to lose weight. She won't stop to wonder if the girl with a muffin top at the beach has just overcome bulimia. Sally won't love everyone unconditionally because she has not been taught to love unconditionally, and do you really want to be that way?
Do you really want to look at another human being with disgust, forming assumptions about that person and his or her life simply because of their body image? Do you seriously want to judge the character of another simply by their outward appearance? If you do, that says more to me about the quality of your heart than theirs.
“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.”– Harvey Fierstein
Understand that I am not advocating for individuals who perpetuate unhealthy lifestyles. I believe that our bodies are vessels bestowed upon us by God, and it is our responsibility to ensure their health and wellbeing. What I am attempting to convey is my annoyance with the society that we live in, and the double standards I am seeing too frequently in young women specifically.
If we are to be the generation that cries for change within others, we must first be willing to change ourselves. That change begins with loving yourself, and that is no easy task. It begins with acceptance, and ends in victory. Along the way you lean on Jesus to say, "you're right God, I am a magnificent human being because you formed me just the way I am." Ram Dass once said: "your problem is that you're too busy holding on to your unworthiness," and he was right. If you can come to understand that Jesus loved us so much that He died for us, you'll suddenly realize that you too are worthy of love, Jesus's love and your own.
The moment that you realize this, you can begin to love others just as much.
