From a young age, we are taught to "treat others the way you would like to be treated." And although this is a good message to instill in the future of our world, learning exactly how you want to be treated is another idea completely. If you don't know how to treat yourself with respect or kindness, to begin with, this simple phrase becomes a little more complicated.
Although I do feel alone in my struggle to love myself most days, I know that there are countless other beautiful humans who don't give themselves enough credit. I look at myself and I don't initially see someone who is smart, who is gorgeous, who is loved, who is wanted or someone who 'fits in.' I cannot remember a time in my life where I felt comfortable and beautiful waking up in the morning. What I thought I knew was, that everyone else was beautiful, everyone else was intelligent, everyone else seemed to feel entirely confident in their body, and everyone had someone.
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I thought that I wasn't good enough to feel the things I believed everyone else felt. It is not that people treated me badly, it is the fact that I did not treat myself with near as much kindness or love as I showed to others. I knew how to treat others the way I wanted to be treated, but I did not even treat myself the way I wanted to be treated. I wanted to feel all sorts of beautiful and feel unconditionally loved by myself. People have called me beautiful, kind, and one of the biggest compliments I've received it that I was a role model, on more than one account. In the moment, of course, I said thank you and was genuinely touched, but five minutes later I would convince myself that any compliment I received was because people were just nice, which in turn lead me to question myself. Why do these people think that I am beautiful, or smart or talented, because I am not.
I denied every compliment that came my way, and I still do that more often than I should. How rude of us to twist the words of others compliments, into shallow and meaningless phrases, just because we can not bring ourselves to love who we are. How is someone supposed to love me if I don’t even love myself?
The truth is, people do. People will love you. People will see past the barriers you put up and the walls of denial you hide behind. A set of fresh eyes is always important, sometimes getting too close to something blurs your vision.
I believe that is what happens to us as humans. We are too close to ourselves to realize the uniqueness and incredible beings we are because we are just, too close. Too close to the project, the project being our lives, appearance and what we think we need to be. It is hard to appreciate the marvelous gift of God's creation without broadening our view of the world. Just as it is hard to appreciate yourself, your accomplishments and body you were given when we live inside of it, and look at it in a mirror each day. And, what you seeing the mirror should reflect someone who ‘fits in,’ we were all born to stand out.
The golden rule is meant to keep love and respect in a constant cycle of treating others the way you wish to be treated, assuming you appreciate love and respect. Which are things you deserve to also give yourself, which is the truth? And the nice thing about truth is that it is still the truth, whether you believe it or not. And believing in something is better than believing in nothing.
"Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us. Oh, be swift to love, make haste be kind."
