Everyone has had embarrassing moments, but I have one that has stuck in my mind since the sixth grade, when my best friend betrayed me during a seemingly innocent game of tag. My best friend, then and now, is Morgan Lee. The two of us have been thick as thieves since the fourth grade, when we met in Mrs. Morris’s class. The only explanation of our friendship is that we are both off the wall crazy. As with all relationships, we have had our differences, had plenty of fights, but the one on the playground in the sixth grade remains the most embarrassing for me.
The playground at Malvern’s Wilson Intermediate School is not too fancy, just a rather simple jungle gym, some random poles, a large open field with a baseball fence at the back, some trees for shade, and a bus lane going along the side. On the jungle gym stood a group of girls that Morgan and I both have had issues with since kindergarten, throwing down taunts like “why don’t you girls just go home and cry to your mommies!” all in trying to get us to play tag with them. After relentless teasing, Morgan and I both gave in and joined the group, not knowing the danger our relationship was in.
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The beginning of the game goes smoothly, with one of the “mean girls” declared as ‘it’ and Morgan and I just trying to survive until recess was over. All was well as a few of the other girls were tagged as ‘it,’ and they chased each other around, seemingly forgetting that Morgan and I were even playing, until the fateful moment when one of the girls chased after Morgan and tags her. It is important to understand that Morgan and I were polar opposites: she was brunette, I was blonde, she was skinny, I was quite chunky, she was fast, I was slow. In a race, Morgan would leave me behind in the dirt. So imagine my surprise when Morgan turned away from the other girls, whom we were not friends with, and came chasing after me, the one who just prayed she would not get noticed for the entirety of the game. What do you do when the person who is tagged as ‘it’ runs after you? You run. Short, simple, to the point, you run, so that is what I did. Since she is quite a bit faster and smaller than me, I ran out of breath long before she did, but lucky me, I hit the bus lane, which was always known for being the “safe zone” in all games of tag unless otherwise stated in the initial setup of the game, which it had not been, and I called time and stopped to catch my breath. As if being chased down by your best friend was not embarrassment enough for one day, Morgan decided that she was not going to abide by the safe zone rules and that she was going to tag me and make me ‘it’ whether I called time out or not. That was the moment that I truly felt betrayed by the girl I called my best friend, and it was embarrassing.
After Morgan tagged me, I got very angry, and I was highly upset and embarrassed, so I stomped off, not saying a word to her for the rest of the school day, spending the last few hours of school embarrassed, angry, rejected, and very alone. I did not understand why the person I called my best friend would purposefully chase me down with the intent to make me feel bad in front of our common enemies, the mean girls. After school, she and I went to the Boy’s and Girl’s club, per usual, but that day I avoided her like the plague and sat around moping, angry at the world, hurt, and worst of all lonely. Shortly before her dad arrived to take her home, Morgan went to me, apologized, wiped my tears, and made me laugh, per usual, and we agreed that we could forget the incident had happened, and move on with our friendship. It seemed to be the only option for us, since we had been attracted like magnets to each other throughout rough seas and high waters, and have remained inseparable, even as we approach high school graduation.
After several years of random reflection, I have determined that the main cause of my embarrassment was my inability to keep up with Morgan, and to out run her, or to outsmart her into tagging one of the other girls we were playing with. Another cause for the embarrassment was my reaction to being tagged. Instead of laughing and pausing to catch my breath in order to tag one of the other girls, I threw a mini temper tantrum like a five-year-old who did not get the candy she wanted from the store. If this scene were to be recreated now, with the same girls, the same playground, and same taunts, I believe that my reaction to being chased down by Morgan to be a bit of ‘friendly’ competition, where I would do anything in my power to trip her, distract her, or plot with her to get one of the other girls tagged without them even knowing it. The main difference between the reality and those possibilities is my reaction to the events as they played out. I had already been embarrassed by the taunts thrown at me by the mean girls, so I took my anger at them out on my best friend and embarrassed myself by not realizing that she chose to go after me because we were friends, not in spite of our friendship. My pain and displeasure was reasonable, but terribly misplaced.
Everyone has embarrassing moments, but the only way they can define us is if we let them by responding negatively, as I did that unfortunate day on the sixth grade playground. When you respond in a negative manner to an innocent or meaningless event, you have a strong chance for being embarrassed. Your negative reactions will be noticed by many more people, including ones who have never even met you before, than a positive reaction would. For instance, when you are in a store shopping, and you see a child throwing a tantrum and a child quietly walking around with their parent, which will you pay closer attention to? The child throwing a tantrum, because they are reacting negatively, and your eyes are drawn to the drama. If I had laughed and played along with Morgan and treated the incident as it was, an innocent game of tag, I would not have drawn attention to myself by acting like the whole class got cake and ice cream but I was left out in the hallway. There will always be someone watching you, how will they see you respond to a difficult situation? Will you throw a tantrum, or will you walk along quietly?
