I’ve read all of the books, I’ve watched all of the YouTube videos and even got ‘c’est la vie’ (that’s life) tattooed on my arm. I know what it takes to start living a carefree and stress reduced life, but somehow I always end up feeling like everything is out of control.

I have been struggling with anxiety for as long as I can remember. I occasionally find it difficult to order a cup of coffee or even to make, what should be, easy decisions.

I worry too much, stress over things that I have no control over and can’t ever let the little things go.

I tend to get into these phases where I’m really motivated to work on self-love and my anxiety. It lasts a few days, maybe even a few weeks, but then something happens that I reward myself with a pity party and I go right back to feeling like I have failed myself at being totally and completely self-improved.

I’m constantly working toward becoming someone who knows how to handle situations with logic rather than emotion.

If something goes wrong, my initial instinct is always to panic or get angry at the circumstances. I can sit here and say that you should think about the problem before reacting to save yourself the struggle, but it’s tough to change an instinct.

So how do you protect yourself from your own negative reaction?

How can you stop letting specific instances make you anxious?

You can’t.

I think, for me, one of the biggest issues with my journey with self-improvement is that while I’m self-improving I’m covering up all of the "bad" things that I’m trying to improve from other people.

I don’t talk about my anxiety or lack of confidence because I fear that it will cause people to see me as vulnerable and weak.

The truth is, I really have nothing to hide.

No one has a perfect mental health, and while I know this to be true, I need to stop trying to meet the standards of someone that does. This is my journey and the only one I’m competing against is myself.

So you can read the books and watch the YouTube videos, but before any real change happens, you have to want it for yourself.