Being human, we all fall victim to insecurities. Whether we are insecure about a certain feature or aspect of ourselves or skeptical about others and their motives regarding us, if you’re anything like me, you can sit and think yourself into an emotional tizzy by concerning yourself with others’ opinions of you. As time goes on, however, I’ve come to the realization that this trait is highly counterproductive to my success. Constantly putting other people on a pedestal and believing them to be superior and more qualified than myself, caused me to talk myself down and out of countless opportunities for advancement. Aside from the outward manifestations of my self-imposed inferiority, I also struggled silently with low self-esteem and almost non-existent confidence in myself. I would speak and immediately reprimand myself for believing that anyone would ever care what I had to say. I would put all my effort into a project and worry that my all wouldn’t be enough. I would go out of my way to preserve relationships that didn’t deserve any of my attention out of fear of losing people that didn’t care anything about me. If this sounds anything like you, this is an open letter of encouragement from me, to you.

Marcus Garvey, a writer, orator, and prominent figure in the black nationalist movement, once so wisely stated that, “If you have no confidence in self, you are half defeated in the race of life”. As someone with large dreams and goals that can at times be overwhelming, I don’t have time to be half defeated. I need my whole being. I need all the victory I can get. Life does not discriminate and isn’t at all stingy with the obstacles it throws at us. There are plenty of opportunities to be defeated, to feel unworthy, undeserving, less than adequate, etc. Don’t allow your mind to defeat you as well. Get into the mindset of ‘if no one else supports me, I’ll support myself’. Start telling yourself that you can and you will and stop thinking about what everyone else is thinking. Wake up in the morning with the attitude that no one could stop you if they tried- and they’d better not try. Become so invested in yourself that the idea of failure no longer scares or embarrasses you, but you see it as an opportunity for improvement.

Believe me when I say that I know what it’s like to be crippled by feelings of inadequacy or self-loathing. I know what it means to look myself in the mirror and hate the person staring back at me because I didn’t believe that she was good enough. But one day I asked myself what exactly was I trying to prove? And who exactly was I trying to prove it to? I encourage you to ask yourself those two questions and seriously think before you answer. Even though you’d only be answering yourself, the answer is important. Don’t be so consumed with trying to impress whoever it is you’re trying to impress that you forget to about your own happiness. Walk with your head up for once and do it with a smile on your face.

Stop standing in your own way and get behind yourself and PUSH.