A friend of mine recently visited from Mount Holyoke College. Glancing at the papers on my desk she noticed a sticker which read “#doless.” Scoffing, she exclaimed, “Like that’s possible!”

Let’s face it. Academic environments are intellectually charged. Conversations spark fresh ideas. Inspiration courts imagination. Being surrounded by highly motivated and ambitious people does inevitably cause you to question yourself and compare yourself to those around you. Are you taking as many challenging courses as them? Are you involved in as many organizations and clubs as them? How can you do MORE?

Soon you find yourself trapped in the “stress game.” If someone tells you how much work they need to get done by tomorrow or how packed their week is, you feel the need to outdo them. You have 5 tests and 3 papers to write this week? I have 5 tests, 3 papers, a presentation AND laundry to do. My life is harder than yours!

Everyone is busy. Everyone has a lot to do. Everyone has challenging things to conquer. Shouldn’t it be sad to win a game which crowns you as the most stressed person in your circle? Why must we glorify this? Why try to prove how much more stress we can handle than everyone else? A better option would be prioritize activities which help us to maintain our mental and physical health. Yes. That’s what we call self-care.

Does skipping class and watching Netflix in bed count as self-care? Arguably, it sounds like self-indulgence, yet the saying on campus suggests, “Self-care is not selfish.” Ideally, the goal should be to allow ourselves to do what brings us inner peace, without compromising responsibilities.

This is harder than it sounds. We get so caught up in our Sysiphisean existence that we ignore ourselves. We feel as if we must continue to push ourselves until we physically cannot continue. Taking a break fills us with guilt and we dread the price we will have to pay for wasting time.

The two golden rules I want to offer are: Take on less; Know when to stop.

Telling overachievers to take on less is like asking a fish to live without water. The same applies to people who simply cannot say no. Remember, less can be more if you focus on quality instead of quantity. Don’t do ten things and spread yourself out too thin. Do what you love and do it well. Make time for self-care.

Take mental breaks. Remind yourself of your bigger goals. When something looks tedious or challenging, ask yourself why you’re doing this in the first place and focus on what you want to get out of it. Once your priorities are aligned, you can concentrate your energy on the right goals.

Knowing when to stop is something we learn from experience. I think I truly understood what this meant when I fell ill a few weeks ago. Feeling tired after a long day of class and lab I decided to sleep off my exhaustion. When I awoke, I felt worse than before and discovered I was running a high fever. I had never been truly ill before in college. I had an exam the next morning and could only think of forcing myself to prepare for it. That’s what I had done in high school, where teachers were skeptical about “fake” illnesses used as excuses to get out of class work. There were no deadline extensions, and no exam re-takes.

Try as I would, I found it impossible to make progress. I finally succumbed and for the first time ever, I had to e-mail a teacher, asking her if I could postpone my exam. I was overcome with anxiety as soon as I sent the message. I refreshed by inbox countless times as I awaited her reply. What if my teacher forced me to show up for my exam? Did I need an official doctor’s note? How was I going to get one late at night? If I did not get an answer, what would that mean?

Relief washed over me when she responded. She wished me well, told me not to worry about the exam, and suggested that I “take care of myself first.” In a way this was a reality check. If my teacher thought that my health was more important than an exam, I should think so too. I took her advice and gave myself permission to rest and recover.

Life isn’t as complicated as we make it and it shouldn't be. Surviving stress culture is possible with a little self love.