This past week has been a lot for me. On top of having a combination of grade-defining assignments, crazy hours at work and a big exam, I was bombarded with news of senseless killings. Yet again. As a young black man in this country, I am exhausted. I'm tired of being afraid that one of my loved ones may be reduced to a hashtag next. I'm tired of people feeling stronger emotions for a racist song than they do for human beings who have lost their lives to gun violence and abuse of power. I'm tired of having to be extra careful, so that I'm not next.
Sometimes I try to put myself in the shoes of people like Trayvon Martin or Philando Castile. Would people just retweet my name and continue with their days? Would my loved ones have to watch a video of my last moments? Would some random racist behind a computer screen say that I deserved to die?
I'm forced to think these thoughts. I'm forced to think such scary thoughts because they could become a reality in seconds. I could go from being another anonymous person just trying to survive in this crazy world to a nationally known name. As a child I had dreams of the whole world knowing my name for something great, but that ambitious dream could turn into a terrible nightmare in moments.
At this point, with death and injustice becoming normalized in this country, we all tend to react differently. Some get out and protest, some speak out online, some retweet, and some choose to internalize it all. Whether we choose to take action or not, self-care is key.
In the midst of such chaos, we have to make sure that our physical, mental, and emotional states are both well-rested and protected. As difficult as it may be, we have to be able to take a step back from everything and focus on our individual well-being for a moment. It's OK.
With everything that's going on, we need to remember to take time for ourselves. It's OK to take a moment and just have a good cry. We're not meant to be strong all the time. It's also OK to go on social media and laugh at stupid memes or watch dumb reality TV shows in order to stay sane. It's almost necessary, for me. No matter the form of self-care, we need to take time to rest and regain our strength.
