I just recently learned about self-care. It definitely doesn't come naturally for me and I've realized that I have to actively practice self-care. I asked my friends about their self-care habits and a lot of them could barely define self-care. Self- care is important, but it's not something that normally comes naturally to people. So here's an article about self-care for people who don't know how to do it, by a girl that just learned how to do it. Self-are for dummies, if you will.

What is self-care?

A definition of self-care is: "Self care includes any intentional actions you take to care for your physical, mental and emotional health."

Self- care is a lifestyle, it's not just a one time thing. Someone explained self care to me by explaining that on an airplane, when the flight attendence go over safety and what to do in emergencies, they explain that when the air masks drop down from the ceiling, to put yours on first then help any children or people struggling next to you- you can't help anyone else if you don't help yourself first.

1. Saying No

In my opinion, this is one of the most important aspects of self-care. Saying no does not come naturally for me. I have a huge FOMO (fear of missing out) and the natural human desire to be liked woking against me. Though I will tell you, once you learn to say "no" to things, it will be your new favorite thing to say! I've read a lot of self-care tips and a lot of them had a vague explanation of what saying "no" means.

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2. Plan out breaks

Its so easy to be swept up into a busy life style that leads to you breaking down and binge watching Netflix while eating junk food instead of doing things you need to get done. Instead of constantly doing work and letting the stress pile up, plan out breaks. My favorite thing to say when I have a lot things to get done is " I have no time for breaks! I need to get all this to do!" It's this mentality of having so much to do so you literally can't stop until you finish it. You always have time for a break, especially if you're headed for a stress caused breakdown if you don't take a break. Know your habits, and your patterns, and break them. When I get too stressed, I shut down and nap a lot because I'm so overwhelmed- taking a break before I get to this point could make it avoidable overall.

3. Communicate exactly how you feel and what you need

I think this is an important part of self care, that is often over looked. When people hear the word self-care they think of bubble baths and relaxing to rejuvenate- just activities that treat yourself. Though, self-care, I've realized is more of a lifestyle. Self-care isn't just a one time thing. Communicating exactly how you feel and what you need is so important because it sets a standard for how people treat you and makes it clear what you want.

More self care:

The things talked about above are major concepts of self-care. They are the "basics" if you will. Here are some things you could do as well, but you need to get the basics down first.

1. Do at least one thing today that makes YOU happy.

2. Meditate or take deep breaths

3. Physical activity or working out. ( don't let this scare you this could be a session at the gym, a walk around the block with a friend, or something like kayaking.)

4. Ask for help. This could be asking for help with a task or asking for help with something serious going on in your life, or asking for help with mental illness. It's scary to be vulnerable at ask someone to help you, but it's so healthy for you.

Here are some websites that have some more self-care tips: tinybuddha.com , The Mighty, A playlist of TED talks that cover the importance of self-care

Self- Care Quotes

1. "Nourishing yourself in a way that helps you blossom in the direction you want to go is attainable, and you are worth the effort. " – Deborah Day

2. "It was when I stopped searching for a home within others and lifted the foundation of home within myself I found there were no roots more intimate than those between a mind and a body that have decided to be whole" -Rupi Kaur

3. "The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself. " – Steve Maraboli

4. "You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. " – Unknown

5. "Self- care is not selfish. You cannot serve from an empty vessel." - Eleanor Brown

Hopefully, this is a beginning guide to your journey of self- care.