A lot of my peers have written about self-care, mental illness, etc., and I've even written my own piece about mental illness stigma, so, at this juncture, it seems only natural that I should write a self-care piece to add to my little collection of articles.
For those who don't know, self-care is, put simply, doing things that you love in order to unwind. It generally tends to be simple stuff like taking a bath, or going out for a walk, or reading a book, or cleaning up a room. Those are all totally completely valid ways to deal with your problems. I myself like to go out for a bike ride and pedal until my legs give out, and my muscles are burning and my breath races hot between my teeth and everything's fallen away except for the wind in my ears and the road that's rushing past at thirty miles an hour (I have a very fast racing bike). Self-care lets you step back and do something that's just for you — not for anyone else.
But, I'd also like to point out that self-care has been taken a little too far in some disillusioned communities.
Let's break down what self-care can do for you:
- it lets you be selfish in a constructive, guilt-free way
- it lets you take a step back from things which could overwhelm you
- it enables you to go back to hobbies that you actually like doing
Those are all excellent things, don't get me wrong — where self-care culture goes wrong is when people think that self-care is the end-all, be-all solution to solving mental illness trouble. Anxious day? Self-care. Big test tomorrow? Self-care.
Sometimes, self-care really isn't the solution. If you have a test coming up, you need to study. Bottom line. You can't just light a bunch of candles, sit yourself down in a warm bath, and la-la-la your way back into English. The test is still going to be there, no matter how many incense sticks you light. For another example, if someone hurts your feelings, and then repeatedly continues to do it, no number of long walks at eight o'clock is going to fix that. If I just went off and licked my wounds every time someone misgendered me or insulted me, I'd be no more than a doormat. Sometimes, you have to face what's bothering you in order to fix it, not crack open "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" for the fiftieth time.
What I'm trying to say is: If you use self-care to escape from what's bothering you, you're doing it wrong.
Self-care is like recharging your emotional batteries. You're drained, you charge it up, and then you're ready to cope again. You don't just sit in the charger, or return every single day just to make sure that everything's all in working order. Self-care is meant to bring you back up to working condition so that you can tackle those big issues when they arise.
Taking care of yourself is perhaps the most important thing you can do, even if it's something small, like making sure you brush your teeth even though you've had a bad day. But taking care of yourself, if taken too far, can really hurt you more than it can help you. As Audrey Lorde said, "Self-care is not about self-indulgence; it's about self-preservation."
