A slam poem by Vanessa Pagano

On more than one occasion I have been accused of having “selective hearing.”

For example, the other day I had another truly mind numbing conversation over the apparent “handouts” that I receive- because of my gender, of course.

I bet you all didn’t see that one coming.

You talked as if justice and equality were one and the same thing, and by accepting opportunities that benefited myself and others but not you, I was unconsciously contributing to the “equality problem.”

As if Title IX was more than enough to compensate for being born with the Double X.

I proclaimed that words and actions of empowerment designed to correct crimes of the past and those yet to be committed could in no way be malicious to those who deemed them unnecessary.

That maybe we need more than a mumbled apology and some pink Hello Kitty band aids to heal 19 years and counting of damage to our confidence and self worth? Even if most of them are self-inflicted.

Let me give you a brief history lesson:

July 30th 1997: a baby girl is born

1 year passes

2…

3…

4. The boys will not want to play with you if you keep being so bossy

5. Good girls do as they are told, remember that

6. Ew I don’t want girls on our team, they are going to make us lose

7. I can’t believe I lost to a girl

8. So why did we give women the right to vote anyway?

9. They only pick on you because you’re so nice

10. This is a school, it’s inappropriate if your shorts aren’t at least past your fingertips

11. Ugh what are you wearing? Our team’s motto is classy not trashy

12. Well you won’t have to worry about dating drama, boys don’t like smart girls

13. You know, you’d be really pretty if you actually tried

14. Wow you don’t like an honors student, I never would have guessed

15. Feminism is only for snooty white girls and gay guys that have too much time on their hands

16. You’re too pretty to be a nerd, if I had a body like yours I’d actually be using it

17. Try not to get raped.

18. You know it’s easier for you to get into that college because you’re a female. It must be so easy to be a woman.

19… Do you realize now? As we grow older and our mind more sophisticated, so do the insults and the catcalls, worming their way into our heads as no longer obscene and demeaning attacks on our being, but disguised as compliments and “good-natured” advice.

If nineteen years of words like these, strung together with wires called tradition, are what I think back to when you accuse me of pulling the “gender card,” then maybe I really do have selective hearing.