I recently watched a film called "Good Kids" in which four high school seniors decide to have a "Summer of yeses." The point of this Summer adventure is to say "yes" to everything that comes their way. Throughout the film, the choices being made are silly, and not exactly the brightest ways to spend a Summer, but the four teenagers manage to learn a valuable lesson. In order for them to move out of their comfort zones, they had to take some risks, regardless of how uncomfortable rejection was, how painful heartbreak was, or how irresponsible they seemed.
After watching this film I was reminded of a concept that an Instagram friend of mine was trying out last year: "Year of 100 NO's". I had heard about the challenge years ago through my friend and had been both intrigued and slightly not thrilled by the concept of putting myself out there for rejection.
I hate rejection. I hate the idea of not being good enough or knowing enough, unable to learn or gain experience and knowledge. I simply live in my bubble and do my daily routine of floating by unnoticed.
Then I was approached a fear years ago by a professor who knew I had had a traumatic experience that I should share. He offered to let me speak in front of his psychology class in order to share my story, and have his students learn about mental health and drugs.
This was my first yes.
Even though I was the one saying yes, instead of seeking a yes, I was doing something outside of my comfort zone. I wanted to expand my life in ways that I hadn't thought about previous to this challenge. So after this one yes, I began to actively seek No's. I wanted to seek more pages to my life book, more journey's leading to my final destination. I wanted to do more, and not be clouded by fear, struck by my social anxiety, and held hostage by my phobias.
I started slowly, asking for small things, like weekend trips with my boyfriend to find awesome new adventures. I asked for a new car because mine was breaking down, and now I have Dax, my baby Subaru. I asked to be considered for the editing position at my school's branch of Odyssey. I asked to be published in the WW Union Bulletin, and have some of Odyssey's other writers to have this same opportunity. So far, I haven't received a single No, and I've gained so much experience, opportunity, and new friendships that will help my future endeavours.
It's hard going into the open and asking for something, especially from a stranger, and something that you've never considered yourself deserving of, ie. being featured in your hometown's local newspaper. This isn't just about asking, it's about having the confidence, or beginning to develop the confidence to seek the No's and find the Yes's while you're at it.