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Holy Mother Forking Shirt Balls— Didn't I Match With Him On Tinder?

That awkward moment when you see your match in public...

Katrine Cadman

Sep 20, 2018

Iowa State University

103

Holy Mother Forking Shirt Balls— Didn't I Match With Him On Tinder?

https://pixabay.com/en/happy-man-adult-city-face-guy-1836445/

BAM!!

You see that boy you matched with on Tinder last night. HOW AWKWARD. Here's 10 thoughts that run through your head...

1. Wait... is that Brad or Chad...?

You swipe right on just about every male with Greek letters in their pics, cuz who doesn't love a good frat daddy?

Once you run into them you have to think... wait which one are you? Since they all wear the same Vineyard Vines tee... Awkward...

2. Please don't say hi. Please don't say hi.

All of a sudden...

Your palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.

HA.

Just please don't talk to me sir... being on Tinder is humiliating enough.

3. Okay... But do I say hi?

I mean he's cute... I'm cute... Do I say something? Do I just pretend like I don't see him? I'm sweaty. AH. What do I do with my hands?????

4. I think you need to update your pics....

Boy, you look NOTHING like you do in your pics.... Disappointing AF. *Unmatches eminently*

5. I hope they don't message me later.

^^^^ My face when I receive that awko taco Tinder message saying, "Hey. Saw you on the bus. You looked good."

YIKES.

6. How you doin'?

HOLY MOLY.

You are even hotter in person. I'll be messaging you later ;)

7. Do you even recognize me?

I think I've worn this shirt 3 times this week, I've maxed out on dry shampoo days, and I kinda smell... There's no way they know who I am.

8. IS HE WITH A GIRL??

Excuse me? I thought Tinder was for single people! They look pretty cozy. What the hell! I'm livid. This is why the world is all messed up!

Oh.

That's totally his sister...

Ok we are all good. Nevermind. I'm Good. Walk it off.

9. What is he wearing...

Safe to say, fashion is probably not his strong suit. Lots of room for improvement.

10. Okay... why am I even on Tinder?

I think seeing this boy in public just took 10 years off my life. Why am I even doing this? CYA.

Once they pass, you regroup and delete the app right?

Who am I kidding, you get on it again that evening and go through this all again tomorrow on campus :)

When in doubt; swipe it out.

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I think the hardest thing about going away to college is figuring out how to become an adult. Leaving a household where your parents took care of literally everything (thanks, Mom!) and suddenly becoming your own boss is overwhelming. I feel like I'm doing a pretty good job of being a grown-up, but once in awhile I do something that really makes me feel like I'm #adulting. Twenty-somethings know what I'm talking about.

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1. If something happens, everyone knows about it

Who hooked up with whom at the party? Yeah, heard about that an hour after it happened. You failed a test? Sorry, saw on Twitter last period. Facebook fight or, God forbid, real fight? It was on half the class’ Snapchat story half an hour ago. No matter what you do, someone will know about it.

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Working with the public can be a job, in and of itself. Some people are just plain rude for no reason. But regardless of how your day is going, always having to be in the best of moods, or at least act like it... right?

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

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Holy Mother Forking Shirt Balls— Didn't I Match With Him On Tinder?

That awkward moment when you see your match in public...

In This Article:

**BAM!!**

1. Wait... is that Brad or Chad...?

2. Please don't say hi. Please don't say hi.

HA.

3. Okay... But do I say hi?

4. I think you need to update your pics....

5. I hope they don't message me later.

6. How you doin'?

7. Do you even recognize me?

8. IS HE WITH A GIRL??

9. What is he wearing...

10. Okay... why am I even on Tinder?

When in doubt; swipe it out.

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#Adulting is hard.

1. Taking care of yourself when you're sick

2. Making a to-do list

3. Planning your activities around the weather

4. Scheduling your own doctor’s appointments

5. Getting your own toilet paper

6. Making food without needing to ask your mom questions

7. Holding your tongue

8. Saving your paycheck (or your tax refund) to pay your bills

9. Balancing your checkbook

10. Going places alone

11. Packing your own lunches

12. Actually eating your vegetables...on purpose

13. Taking a multivitamin

14. Planning a life after graduation

Sometimes bigger isn't always better.

1. If something happens, everyone knows about it

2. Never getting to be invisible

3. Knowing every single thing about every single person in the town

4. New kids are a big deal

5. It’s hard to make new friends

6. On that note ... the dating pool is even smaller!

7. Teachers are weirdly close to their students

8. It forced you to make friends out of school

"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

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