June 21st, 2018 was a night I will remember for the rest of my life.

When I heard that Paramore was coming to Maine, let alone 45 minutes away from my house I knew I had to go. I was going to make it happen. It was like God was like, "You've gone through hell kid, here's the early access code" Because that's exactly what happened. Bless my mom for buying tickets with my debit card while I was at work and knowing how important this concert meant to me.

My parents raised me with different kinds of music and I always appreciated any type of music I was hearing. Even if it was the Bee Gee's for the 10th time while my dad is driving. Music has always had this special place in my heart and a special place with how my music "career" started. In 8th grade my friends Simon, Robert and I decided we were going to sing The Only Exception by Paramore. It was very last minute, and it was the first time i was singing in front of an audience that wasn't the church congregation. We somehow got out act together and even won first place. That was the beginning of singing Paramore during show cases and attending events and rehearsing late at night.

Paramore has been with me through the ups and downs. Through my depression and self-harm to falling in love. They have been really inspiring for me for living my life, fighting my battles and knowing it's okay to not be okay.

The day of the concert I read this article that Hayley Williams wrote herself. I felt inspired and less alone. I really listened to her lyrics more closely and felt like someone understood me. Someone really understood what I was feeling. "I don't need no help, I can sabotage me by myself." It was like she looked at my notes and journals and wrote about fake happiness. Sure, I'm happy and smiling some days. Yet some days I'm so tired and my smile is fake, and I just want to stop with the mask.

I went to the concert with my boyfriend who didn't know how big of a fan I really was. He didn't know how influential Paramore has been for me growing up, but I think he realized the importance of that night during the song 26. The whole night I drank frozen margaritas and danced and twirled singing along to every word to every song.

I had the chance to forget about all the craziness going on in the world, and in my personal life. It was a safe place where everyone felt safe, and everyone felt the love and excitement. I don't think I have danced and smiled like that in so long-and it wasn't even a fake smile either.

Thank you, Hayley Williams, for running around like a little jumping bean, and giving us fans and amazing show. Boys, thank you for handling that little jumping bean and loving us crazy fans too.

Paramore, thank you for the night I've dreamed about for so long, and for being our inspiration.