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See You This Fall!

Some jokes to start off your fall.

Ana Simon

Oct 06, 2016

Fort Lauderdale, FL

Ana Simon

After a year of waiting, the fall season has finally arrived again. Pumpkin spice everything is popping up in every corner, and soon enough houses will begin to look a little more orange, black, and purple. All over the world, people relish in the beautiful foliage, but us poor Floridians are stuck with the green leaves. We have been ousted from the club that greets fall with open arms and allows for the colors to engulf nature. As a fall deprived Floridian I wish to start this beautiful season with some Halloween jokes and puns. Even though i can't see fall, at least I will be able to hear it. Please enjoy!

1. I hate when boxing announcers say a boxer is "down for the count."I don't care that he loves Dracula! I just want to know who's winning.

2. What do skeletons say before they begin dining?

Bone Appetite!

3. What do ghosts serve for dessert at dinner parties?

Ice Scream!

4. What happened to the ghost after he fell?

He got a boo boo!

5. How did the pumpkin fix his ripped pants?

With a pumpkin patch!

6. Why did the mummy call the doctor?

Because he was coffin!

7. Where did the vampire open his savings account?

At a blood bank!

8. Why are there fences around cemeteries?

Because people are dying to get in!

9. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?

Dayscare centers!

10. What monster flies his kite in a rain storm?

Benjamin Frankenstein!

11. What's the first thing a ghost does when they get in the car?

They boo-kle their seatbelts!

12. What is a witch's favorite subject in school?

Spelling!

13. What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?

Steak!

14. What is a skeleton's favorite meal?

Spare Ribs!

15. A vampire, a ghost, a witch, a jack-o-lantern, a zombie, and a head in a jar meet up for their third therapy session. Once again, the doctor asks them what's wrong.

The vampire replies, "My love life bites!"

The ghost whispers, "I'm not the man I used to be."

The witch cackles, "I curse everything."

The jack-o-lantern says, "I feel empty inside."

The zombie cries, "I haven't felt alive in years."

The head in the jar replies, "I feel disconnected."

16. What type of music do mummies listen to?

Wrap music!

17. What would you find at a haunted beach?

A sand-witch!

18. What's worse than being an overweight witch?

Being her broom!

19. Why couldn't the ghost see its parents?

Because they were trans-parent!

20. Which monster won the dance contest?

The Boogie Monster!

21. Why do vampires need mouthwash?

Because they have bat breath!

22. Why are vampires so easy to trick?

Because they are suckers!

MUAHAHAHAHA! Happy Fall!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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See You This Fall!

Some jokes to start off your fall.

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10 ways to prepare for finals week—beginning with getting to the library.

Who knows where we would be without them.

1. Thank you for laughing at my jokes, even when they really aren’t funny.

2. Thank you for singing unbearably loud with me all the time.

3. Thank you for letting me vent to you for hours about anything and basically being my personal therapist.

4. Thank you for ordering pizza with me at 2 in the morning.

5. Thank you for all the movie days when we don’t feel like moving.

6. Thank you for being my workout buddy everyday.

7. Thank you for sharing your closets with me.

8. Thank you for taking naps with me at random hours during the day.

9. Thank you for cleaning our home with me when we absolutely need to.

10. Thank you for all the rides when it’s late and you don’t want me to walk home alone in the dark.

11. Thank you for studying with me in our kitchen when we didn't want to go the library.

12. Thank you for making dinner with me.

13. Thank you for helping with my hair, makeup and outfit every time we go out.

14. Thank you for taking countless ugly pictures with me.

15. Thank you for not judging me when I go too long without showering.

16. Thank you for making our apartment feel like a second home.

17. Thank you for being there through all of our boy troubles.

18. Thank you for giving me a hug when I feel homesick.

19. Thank you for getting excited with me when one of us gets a good grade on an exam.

20. Thank you for still being my friend and not judging me when I say or do dumb things.

21. Thank you for telling me what I should do when I am sick.

22. Thank you for dancing horribly with me everywhere we go.

23. Thank you for staying up super late with me when we aren’t tired or can’t sleep.

24. Thank you for being super weird with me.

25. Thank you for all the unforgettable college memories.

26. And most of all, thank you for being the best friends a girl could have.

I may or may not be stressing right now.

1. "What do I have to study for?"

2. "What class do I need to study for the most?"

3. "I’m going to ace this."

4. "Focus!"

5."I have no idea what I'm reading."

6. "I should call my smart friend about this."

7. "I’m going to fail. I’m going to fail."

8. "I’m dropping out of school."

9. "What grade do I have to get on the final to pass the class?"

10. "Oh, no, I have to do good."

11. "I shouldn’t have procrastinated all semester."

12. "I wanna go to bed."

13. "We did not learn this!"

14. "I should go get food."

15. "Why do we even have finals?"

16. "I don’t want to be at the library."

17. "Get off your phone."

18. "I can watch Netflix for like 20 minutes and then go back to studying."

19. "I shouldn’t have watched Netflix."

20. "You have to study now!"

The "Happiest Place on Earth" has a lot of characters with some pretty great advice.

Remember you’re the one who can fill the world with sunshine. — Snow White

The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it. — Rafiki

You don't have time to be timid. You must be bold and daring. — Lumière

If watching is all you're gonna do, then you're gonna watch your life go by without ya. — Laverne

Sometimes the right path is not the easiest one. — Grandmother Willow

Always let your conscience be your guide. — Jiminy Cricket

To infinity and beyond. — Buzz Lightyear

Life is a journey to be experienced, not a problem to be solved. — Pooh

Let it go. — Elsa

If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all. — Thumper

Today's special moments are tomorrow's memories. — Genie

It's a time of love, family, memory-making, and gift-giving. But also a time of stressing over the perfect gift.

Money

Socks

Blankets

Gift Cards

Hoodies and Sweatpants

Pajamas

Candles

A Fish

CDs

Movie Tickets

Candy

Gag Gifts

Dollar Shave Club

A Stocking of Toys

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