The Facebook page Progressive Secular Humanist Examiner posted an image awhile back listing "X Number of Things Never to Say to An Atheist." I was unable to find the exact image, but the very first thing on that list was something to the effect of, "I'll pray for you."
I agreed to an extent with some of the other suggestions, but that first one raised my eyebrows. I was a practicing Christian for awhile, but have since lapsed. As is made clear in the headline, I am a secular humanist. More specifically, I don't claim to know for sure that no deity exists, as I believe it cannot be known, but I think it's incredibly unlikely that our universe is the creation of a deity, or that afterlife awaits humans after we die. The bottom line is, religion has no role or influence in my life.
That being said, I find it peculiar how extreme some atheists' responses are to prayer. Daniel Dennett, one of the most prominent and outspoken atheists, once recalled being in the hospital and having loved ones tell him they were praying for him, and biting his tongue to avoid mocking them for it.
Such extreme reactions are not characteristic of all atheists, or even most necessarily. If you're an atheist and don't feel that the views I'm critiquing don't reflect yours, this isn't directed at you. But I've navigated numerous secular blogs and Facebook pages, and I've seen it enough that I felt the need to speak out about it.
Of all characteristics of religion, prayer seems like such a trivial quality to get all up in arms about, and to be offended by someone telling you they'll pray for you seems awfully sensitive. Maybe it's because I grew up in a Christian home, but I'm not usually bothered by someone telling me they'll pray for me. It's meant as a kind gesture of goodwill, so why treat it as anything different?
Now, if you want to question and challenge the validity and effectiveness of prayer, fire away. I personally don't pray, and I don't think there's much to discuss on the matter, as I believe all that happens when people pray is they say a bunch of words that go nowhere to a being which doesn't exist. But I digress.
Christians can feel free to tell me they'll pray for me. I do have a couple of conditions, though:
1. Don't ever say "I'll pray for you" sarcastically. That is petty, and I would be bothered by that.
2. Be sure your prayers are accompanied by deeds, and efforts to make the world a better place. I feel that too many people create a false dichotomy of prayer vs. action, when the two are absolutely not mutually exclusive, as is obvious if you're familiar with churches like the one I attended. I don't care if you pray or not...just be actively helping the betterment of the world, even in the smallest ways.
There are a lot of things that I find problematic about Christianity. Prayer is not one of them.
