The thing is, secrets don’t do any good other than potentially bring friends “closer.”
*But before I write anything else, I do want to point out that there is a difference in being vulnerable and sharing a secret. See being vulnerable doesn’t mean sharing a secret, it means just being open and willing to talk about things that have grown you…sharing secrets mean the exact opposite…secret literally means “not known or seen or not meant to be known or seen by others” (Merriam Webster).
I also want to clarify as to what secrets I am talking about here.
1. “Surprise Secrets”
This is that secret that you have about your best friend’s surprise party that you are throwing. It is nothing more than out of love and desire for exciting memories…with those intentions said upfront, this secret is harmless.
2. “Close Friend Secrets”
These are those secrets that you share with your close friend "Megan" because you and her grew up together and you can tell each other anything. Not that I am against these secrets, but I do believe that they can get rather tricky if yours and Megan relationship ever grows to have more people involved than just you two.
3. “I Have to Tell Secrets”
Most certainly these are the most destructive secrets as they are rooted in shame and only wallow in a longing to be set free through confession. These are those secrets that truly break all boundaries and ruin relationships rather than build them.
I can speak with assurance that any of these secrets have the capacity to hurt your closest friend or your most distant acquaintance. It doesn’t have to be something dramatic, and it doesn’t have to be completely off the wall.
And even with the whole topic of secrets set aside, there is such an importance in knowing consciously how you speak to someone. To have that reminder of, “Wow how could these words possibly hurt them,” and then to allow that to process before those powerful, gut-retching words leave your mouth.
The same is to be said for secrets! There has to be this filter that differentiates and recognizes the possibility of hurt that might just be unveiled with the sharing of that secret.
The thing about secrets is that they don’t just go away when they are shared, yet they linger and stick around as long as they can because they want the utmost impact possible.
I guess if I were to say anything at all, it is just to remember that secrets are powerful…More than any of us realize, and that before we share one we need to be absolutely positively sure that we are ready for its punch.
