Last year, right around this time, I was returning to the US from my six-month stint abroad. I had studied in Copenhagen, Denmark through an exchange program at UNC. Moving halfway across the world from everything I knew and loved was the scariest thing I've ever done, but it is my greatest feat to this day. Creating a life for myself in a place where I couldn't even pronounce street names was so empowering. By the end of the year, I had a cozy apartment full of strangers who had become friends, a favorite grocery store, a knack for cooking, a monthly metro card, and a rusty old bike that I would ride to my favorite coffee shop in the city. I have to tell you, there is no greater confidence boost than establishing a routine in a place that was once chaos.
Fun fact: Copenhagen is one of the cheapest airports to fly out of in Northern Europe. I learned this quickly, and I was able to travel to six countries in my short time overseas. It was thrilling- I brought my boyfriend (now fiance) to Paris. I saw the northern lights in the arctic circle while being pulled by sled dogs. I spent a couple days in Amsterdam during their "Festival of Orange" celebrating the "Orange" line of royalty. I visited Keukenhof, the annual tulip festival in the Netherlands. I would hike mountains in Switzerland and two weeks later be moved to tears by the intricate architecture of ancient Gothic churches in London. I took a ferry to Oslo, Norway, and climbed to the top of its opera house, where I stood, freezing, terrified, and in awed silence at the view around me and the music beneath me. Yes, life in the spring of 2015 was a beautiful mess, and I wouldn't trade any of those moments for the world.
There is something no one will tell you about travel, though: it comes with the most lonely and aching feelings I have ever experienced. Don't get me wrong- I traveled with friends, made new ones on the journey, and was constantly stimulated and distracted by the chaos of my life. There is no end to the possibilities when traveling, and that is a feeling beyond fulfillment. However, I noticed that the more grandeur a sight I beheld, the more my heart wrenched.
What is an experience without someone to share it with, after all? I imagined my dad, tearing up as he always does when overwhelmed, gazing at the Northern Lights with me. At the same time my mouth watered walking through the organic food markets in central Copenhagen, I longed to show it to my mom and watch her bounce around to each station, cooing in admiration. I took a deep breath of crisp, sweet air on that mountain peak in Switzerland, and I felt a gentle pang surrounding my exhalation, for this was a sight my outdoorsy fiance would have absolutely killed to see. And my goodness, how my grandparents would have marveled at Windsor Castle's chapel!
I am reminded of the well-known saying about achieving fame, "It's lonely at the top". Here I was, fulfilling my wildest dreams! And yet...most nights, when I snuggled into the stiff, plastic-and-ammonia smelling hostel bed, borrowing the city skyline as my nightlight, I couldn't help noticing that my most incredible memories had been, and would remain, unshared.
This feeling never did disappear, and there was not one night in those six months that I didn't long for the familiarity and comfort of my family and closest friends. I found myself laughing and floating on air, not in the breathtaking moment when the Eiffel Tower sparkled and filled the evening, but in the recounting to my family over Skype. So, here's the secret no one will tell you about traveling: life, I've learned, is measured not in what we do, but in who we have in our lives to share it with. My friends, you could visit every country, spend months broadening your horizons and creating a life of adventure and intrigue! But what of it if there is no one with whom to share this adventurous and intriguing life? I cannot tell you how many times I caught myself looking to my left and right while taking in a particularly incredible view or boarding the plane to my destination that month; part of my brain was always searching for someone to share the adventure with.
Now, this may vary depending upon the personality. But I think deep down, all of us want to share our lives. Humans are not meant to be alone, and in my opinion, they are certainly not meant to partake in the absurdity and elation that is traveling, alone.
My advice to you all: share your life. Share your adventures and your struggles! How? Start a blog. Take too many pictures. Make notes about how you are feeling. Even better- bring someone dear along for the ride! Gina Greenlee, author of Postcards and Pearls: Life Lessons from Solo Moments on the Road, said it best when she said, "When we establish human connections within the context of shared experience, we create community wherever we go.”
Do not fear traveling. Do not fear independence or self-exploration. But know that your loved ones are truly with you wherever you go and that is both the most beautiful and heartbreaking thing I learned in my travels.
