As someone with a Bachelor’s degree in writing, nothing irks me more than seeing misspellings and grammar mistakes on Facebook. They're such simple mistakes that shouldn’t be happening, especially since most of these mistakes are committed by full-grown adults. “Not all of us have degrees in writing!” No, but you did all finish second grade. For those who can’t seem to remember how words work, here’s a quick refresher.
"I could care less."
If you're trying to make a point, you mean "I could not care less." If you say "I could care less," you care at least a little bit. If you couldn't care less, your care level is at zero. There are no negative cares.
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Examples:
I have been to five 5 Seconds of Summer shows in three different tours, and I own every album, two tour posters, their books, their movie, six t-shirts... You get the point. I could care less about 5 Seconds of Summer because I already care too much. On the other hand, I could not care less about the birth date of Canada's fourth Prime Minister because I already don't care.
To vs. Too vs. Two
I’ve never seen anyone misuse the word two (the number) so we’ll leave that one alone. The misuse of to and too happens on a daily basis and I’m not toohappy about it. Chances are to will be more commonly used, so we’ll define too for the sake of simplicity. Too means either excessively or also. If you can’t replace the word with excessively or also, it’s not too. If you can, stop writing to.
Examples:
"Let's visit the park too," or "Let's visit the park also."
"I was driving too fast," or "I was driving excessively fast."
You’re vs. Your
This is one of the simplest mistakes and it’s so easy to remember the difference. You’re is literally you are. The apostrophe replaces the ‘a’ in are and pulls the words together. It’s that simple. If you can say “you are” instead, it’s you’re.
Examples:
"Your hair looks really nice today."
"You're not very happy this morning," or "You are not very happy this morning."
Their vs. There vs. They’re
Just like with you’re, they’re is simply they are with an apostrophe to replace the ‘a’ and pull the words together. If you can say “they are” instead, it’s they’re. Their shows ownership of some sort. There can usually be replaced with where and turned into a question. However, there is also used to say things like “there was a time…” so if it’s not they’re or their, it’s there.
Examples:
"They're not coming to the party," or "They are not coming to the party."
"We're stopping by their house later."
"Wasn't the exit back there?" "Back where?"
Irregardless
For the love of everything on this great, green earth, stop pretending irregardless is a word. Regardless is a word. It means "in spite of" so irregardless makes absolutely no sense and writing this part is giving me a headache because of all the red lines under irregardless. Stop trying to make irregardless happen. It’s not going to happen.
Then vs. Than
Then refers to time. Than is comparison. It's really that simple.
Examples:
“I’m going to go to the grocery store, then I'll stop at the gas station.”
“I would rather go to the grocery store than the gas station.”
Lose vs. Loose
The way I remembered this difference as a kid was when I was told the double-o in loose gives it a soft s sound, like in soft and sound. The single-o in lose gives it a z sound. Loose – with a soft s – means "free or released from fastening or attachment," or not fitting. Lose – with a z sound – means you no longer have something.
Examples:
“My jeans are loose.”
“I’d like to lose weight” or “How did you lose your keys?”
Affect vs. Effect
This one is admittedly harder to remember, but there is a trick: RAVEN. Remember, Affect Verb, Effect Noun. If you have to use "a/an/the" before the word, it's effect. Affect is an action, effect is the result.
Examples:
“How will this affect you?”
“What is a major effect of global warming?”
Literally
Please. If it didn’t 100% legitimately happen, don’t use literally.
I know Facebook posts don't determine a person's knowledge of the English language but if you plan on commenting on my status, at least do it better than a first grader.
For anything I may have missed, listen to Weird Al’s “Word Crimes”.
