We all have people who, for lack of a stronger term, "try our patience." If you're lucky, this'll remind you of an annoying person who always asked to copy your homework or somebody who never gave you a straight answer. If reality has delivered you a swift kick to the proverbial nuts like it has me, then this means that somebody lied to you, hurt you (physically, mentally, or emotionally), broke a promise to you, or any other manner of offenses. We've all done wrong and had wrong done to us. But how do we react? What do you do when the gavel is in your hand and you have to decide between mercy and justice?

There are a number of routes we can take.

1. The Red Queen

This means you take being slighted very seriously. If you haven't made them pay for what they have done, then you're not doing your job. There is no compromise, and kindness means weakness, so it's simply the best approach to establish an iron will and set distinct rules. You don't fall easily and you may be stronger this way, but the time will come when you realize your relationships are built upon fear, not love.

2. Punching Bag

You have patience that seems unending, are slow to anger, and dole out forgiveness easily. It's not like you don't feel hurt or resentment, it just means that you can see beyond that and continually put your heart out there, even if you know it's likely to get crushed. However, it doesn't always end with you getting back what you lost, and many people who take this approach end up regretting the wasted years and how they let people walk over them.

3. Socrates

Taking this path means that you put your foot down when necessary and lift it up when it seems right. Even at the risk of becoming unscrupulous and wishy-washy, you don't act rashly and consider everything before you make a decision. You try to avoid final decisions and end up just being passive.

Now, I can only speak from what I've learned in my measly 18 years of life but I think the mistake so many people make is that they can't get past their wounded feelings and pride to really understand why this person did such a horrible thing. Many things cannot be justified, but if you understand the why, then your judgement will at least be a bit more clear and fair.

What I want to say is that it is not weakness to understand and forgive. And it is not strength to destroy anybody who crosses you or seek revenge. There is a middle ground and that ground shifts with every situation. Sometimes the source of the hurt is the people that we love, and that makes it all the more painful. But be patient and know who you need and who you don't. And coming from a person who doesn't like to give up on people, that's hard to say. It's complicated but all I can say is this: Compromise when you can and if you can't, don't.