Last year, out of the seven girls I lived with, six of my roommates were in steady relationships, or had a boyfriend at some point within the year. As I continue to get older, I see more friends in committed relationships, more friends getting engaged, more friends getting married, or more friends having babies. I always prided myself in the term "single and ready to mingle," and not allowing a man to hold me back from my dreams. I never wanted, and still don't want to get married until after I am 25. I want to travel the world, go to law school, and start a career for myself, on my own. I am so strong-willed and independent, that although I hate to say it, I'm afraid that by entering a committed relationship I will in essence lose my sense of who I am.
But lately I've been feeling lonely. I see my friends with boyfriends, girlfriends, or fiances, so in love and enamored with one another, and I kind of crave that. I want that one person who I can talk to about anything and everything, who will take me on cute little dates, and who I can spend time with. I am kind of tired of constantly being the third wheel. I have had one semi-serious relationship, as well as my fair share of flings. I have done the whole Tinder thing, looking for that one man who could be my niche. Mostly unsuccessful, others, somewhat promising. Some of these Tinder "flings" were actually somewhat comical and absolutely horrible.
When I looked back at that semi-serious four month relationship with my now ex-boyfriend, I realized what made that relationship so great. I was not constantly searching for a boyfriend, or love, for that matter; it kind of fell into my lap. I wasn't searching for it, but rather, a goofy, funny, dark-haired boy came into my lap.
I'm not saying I miss that relationship at all, in fact, it only strengthened our friendship.
What I miss is that sense of not always looking for a relationship. I feel, or have felt, within the last couple of weeks, kind of desperate and needy. And I hate saying that about myself, because I pride myself in being strong and independent. Within the last few months, I have felt that I am indeed "boy crazy." I am somewhat blessed that I didn't become "boy crazy" until I was almost 20 years old, but nonetheless, it has taken over my life.
I look at my friends around me, who are in the happiest, and most stable relationships there can be in young adulthood. I look at my best friend, who crushed on her boyfriend all throughout high school, but let him come to her when he was ready. She let love come to her, and now they have been together for almost a year.
I think the key in my best friend's relationship, and many successful relationships like these, is patience. As in the case of my best friend, she waited patiently for FOUR years for love to come to her.
I think, in turn that those of us searching for love must be patient. We must be patiently wait for that right person to walk into our lives.
