I don't think anyone could comprehend what I mean by falling in love. Not nowadays.
Though the Arabic word tuqburni has no real English equivalent, it can be translated to: a love so deep you could die without your partner.
And though it is incomprehensible to most of my generation, that's the kind of love I long for.
I want an unconditional kind of love, the kind of love that makes your stomach churn and your cardiac muscle clench. The kind that is absolute. The kind that makes you desperate for the other person, whether they are far from you or not. The kind that's unbearable when gone unexpressed. The kind that keeps you up at night. The kind that is difficult, that is hard. The kind that isn't always perfect.
Yes, I want all the hardship that comes with love, and I'm willing to put in the time it takes to nurture and develop that kind of love.
Which is uncommon for my generation.
My generation has forgotten about true love- about real, deep connection. My generation has made sex and love interchangeable terms.
I disagree.
Sex is our excuse for love, because we are too afraid to commit to a real connection. We mistake a physical connection between our bodies for an emotional one. We've substituted one of our deepest human emotions with a false sense of connection. Stripping our clothes is easy. Stripping to the deepest, most vulnerable parts of our souls- that is difficult.
And my generation likes quick and easy. Because everything around us is no different. We have access to limitless knowledge always at our fingertips. We live in a fast-paced world. Everything around us is fast.
Love is not. Love takes time, time my generation does not seem to have, or does not want to make.
I, on the other hand, want to make that time. I want to make time to sit down, and listen about someone's darkest fears, their deepest desires. I want to see all the ugly, and all the good in someone. I want to look into someone's eyes and see the world in them, and I want someone to do the same for me. I want my tuqburni.
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1. For all of the endless hugs and kisses you always seem to smother me in.
2. For teaching me how to cuddle and being the best cuddle buddy still to this day.
3. For teaching me some of the best "mom dance moves"
4. For pushing through all of the sleepless nights and still being super mom.
5. For not killing me every time you found me cutting my own bangs.
6. For showing me all the classics and helping me develop a good taste in movies.
7. And for watching the ridiculous reality TV shows with me because no one else will.
8. For helping me with all of that awful homework that even you couldn't understand.
9 For giving us a taste of our own medicine when we needed it.
10. For setting my curfew at a reasonable hour to ensure I didn't get into any mischief. (I was still able to accomplish a little mayhem though)
11. For spoiling me as a little girl but making me do chores as I got older. I now understand the point of having a clean house.
12. For being the best host to all of the weird friends I would bring over.
13. And for standing up for me when those weird friends stabbed me in the back.
14. For listening when I needed to vent and always giving the best advice possible.
15. For being the absolute best cook. No arguments there.
16. For answering every single phone call and the millions of questions that I always have.
17. For letting me form my own identity and encouraging me along the way.
18. For going on shopping dates with me and always telling me your honest opinion.
19. For rolling the windows down and singing along to the music with me.
20. And for being the best mom possible. I love you!
1) Hot showers
Anything with steam. The bathroom in my apartment has a built-in vent system when you flip on the light. However, this isn’t very helpful when you’re congested and you’re trying to use the steam so that you can breathe again. There are two options; 1) you can keep off the lights and use the flashlight on your phone to light the bathroom or 2) you can boil water in a pot, remove it from the heat, cover your head with a towel, and inhale. It looks really weird and you have to be careful not to burn your face on the steam, but it helps clear out some congestion.
2) Over-the-counter medicine.
Vitamins, supplements, Airborne, Mucinex, Dayquil, Nyquil (for bedtime), all of it. When self-medicating you have to make sure that you’re not taking too much of one type of medicine. Use Google to make sure your meds are compatible. Also, read all of the directions; you don’t want to accidentally take too much of something. If you’re feeling nauseous, eat peppermints.
3) Honey.
Honey is a natural healing-agent. If you have a sore-throat you can coat it with the honey. Raw-honey is the most effective type when trying to make yourself feel better. Also, honey in tea is amazing.
4) Tea.
You’ll feel like a damn Brit. (lol, JK love those Brits!) Actually, though, chamomile tea is really good, there're types of tea that help promote relaxation (I love those). You can brew up some tea, put honey in it and it tastes sooooooo yummy! It also helps you sweat out the sickness, stay hydrated, and the steam from the cup helps congestion. Same thing goes for soup, plus it tastes delicious.
5) The expensive tissues.
Yes, it's tempting to buy the super cheap tissues because college kids are poor, but when you’re going to be blowing your nose 80,000,000 times a day, splurging a bit for comfort is the best option.
6) Vicks.
Do you know how many ways you can use Vicks chest rub (or the rip-off brand) to help yourself get better? It’s insane how many places this stuff helps! For a congestion, under the nose clears that out. A cough, putting Vicks on your chest helps you breathe easier. For a sore-throat, you can rub it on your neck and throat and it’ll ease the pain. The weirdest, but best, place to put Vicks is on your feet. It will cause you to sweat. It’ll make the fuzzy stuff from socks stick to you, but it works so well!
7) Rest and avoid alcohol.
I know, rest is hard because we have so much work to do but take an hour long break every once in a while, go to bed at midnight instead of 3, avoid partying. It sucks if you like parties and want to go out, but your body will thank you and you will feel better with the weekend off!
8) Call your mom.
I’m pretty sure this is advice that I give in everything that I do. My mom is a major supporter of me though, and I do call her a lot. She took care of me for my entire childhood, she took care of my sister too. Mom’s have life experience and just know how to help their children if they can. Even though my mom isn’t anywhere near my school, when I’m sick she comforts me and makes sure I’m doing everything possible to feel better, because she’s my mom and that’s what moms do.
9) Go to the doctor.
If you think you really have to. Personally, I avoid doctors on campus, I try to avoid them at home too. I’d much rather take care of myself with honey and over-the-counter stuff but to each their own.
In college, it takes 0.0000002 seconds to catch a sickness that can put you out of the running for a really long time if you don’t take care of it. When I do all of the things listed, except go to the doctor, it takes me about a week or week and a half to fully recover. Best of luck avoiding the on-campus plague, the odds are not in your favor.
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