The scariest thing I've ever done was learn how to be alone AND being okay with being alone. It did not happen overnight, it didn't happen in a month, but slowly I realized I was not scared about being alone anymore.
Being alone is a new thing for me. I was in a comfortable relationship for 2 years and was NEVER alone. I always knew I had someone to lean on, but suddenly I had no one. Yes, I know I had and still have my family, but this is a different type of alone. I didn't have someone to call at 2 AM because I couldn't sleep or didn't have someone to tell I just saw a cute dog. I was suddenly very alone is this world and it was TERRIFYING. I felt like I was suffocating every second of every day. All I could think about was how alone I felt. I was scared. There is no other way to say it, other than I was scared out of my mind. I didn't know what to do. I hadn't been by myself in over two years. But I also hadn't been myself in those years. I didn't know who I was anymore. I had been a "couple" for years and now I was just ME!! Who did I want to be?
I felt like I was starting all over from the beginning and it was exciting. It, also, made me a little sick to my stomach. When I realized who I was and who I wanted to be I was no longer fearful of being alone but I welcomed it with open arms. I started doing things I wanted to do. I started living for myself. I may have gone a little crazy... tattoo, pierced my nose and cut all my hair off, but nothing too extreme. I found stuff that I liked to do to pass the time and when I feel the loneliness creeping back up I would do that stuff. Read a book, workout (which I recently discovered is AMAZING), listen to some music, just doing something that makes you happy can make you feel SO much better. Sometimes you have to let yourself be lonely, though. Sit and think about the future, ALONE. You do not need to be surrounded by other humans all the time. Even if you are alone, that doesn't necessarily mean you are lonely. You just have to learn the difference
Being lonely is a hard pill to swallow. It makes you really sad and you basically feel like crap 24/7, but learning how to allow yourself to be lonely can be a really good thing. Also, learn what makes you happy so when you feel sad and like crap, you can lift your own self up instead of relying on other people.
