The pumpkin spice products are rolling out. Warm colors are appearing on shelves. Stranger Things has everyone in a spooky mood. Your friend Jeff won't shut up about Halloween, but you're almost as excited as Jeff is—you're just tired of watching the same old Halloween flicks every year. One can only see Nightmare Before Christmas and Hocus Pocus so many times before one wants to Pocus their godd*mn eyes out.
So if you and your friends are looking for fresh material to give you nightmares and force you to cover your eyes in horrified anticipation, look no further. Here is a list of the films you haven't heard of that will make you poop your pants, from least scary to most scary.
Be warned: These aren't for the faint of heart. These movies will make you want to actually hide behind someone's shoulder. Maybe even Jeff's.
House Of The Devil (On Netflix, Hulu, & Amazon Video)
If you liked Stranger Things' ability to practically drown you in period piece nostalgia, this movie is perfect for you. Horror director Ti West's brilliant movie about the "Satanic Panic" of the 80's is slathered in period clothing and tech, is recorded on 16mm film from the 80's, and has a synth soundtrack that would make S U R V I V E (Stranger Things' soundtrack composers) blush. A normal college girl looking for a weekend babysitting job finds a listing on her local corkboard and takes the gig. However, despite the family's fancy and cavernous home, the parents seem a little off. She soon realizes that there isn't a baby—but, oh god, is there something. I won't spoil the rest, but it's a slow-burning film with one hell of a payoff ("hell". Ha. Because...because demons! Haha, get it?).
V/H/S (On Netflix, Hulu, & Amazon Video)
Let's keep the nostalgia but kick it up a spooky notch. Imagine the Blair Witch Project, except instead of finding one spooky recovered VHS tape, you find 6—all equally horrifying. This film focuses on a group of criminals in the 90's who are hired to break into an old man's home and retrieve one of the eponymous tapes. Upon arrival, however, they find hundreds; and every single one of them is its own disturbing story. What the criminals don't realize, though, is that their story is soon to be included in the collection (cue Spooky Sounds CD).
This film starts out really weirdly—the first short is more uncomfortable than scary—but trust me, it's worth getting past to see the others. The sequel, V/H/S 2, isn't too bad either. Also, this features a short by Ti West, the director of House of the Devil! (I'm not biased, you're biased!)
The Poughkeepsie Tapes
If you're not one for the supernatural, but still want to be scared enough to call your parents at 2am and ask them if they're okay, this is your film. The Poughkeepsie Tapes is half found-footage film, half fake documentary, but with a twist—this film is a recreation of the actual Poughkeepsie, NY murders. Every frame of the found-footage portions was copied from the VHS tapes the killer made of his crimes, and every police interview is true to the actual police investigations of the time.
This one is grisly and very grim, but if you have the stomach for some intense non-fiction crime, this will scare the pants and shirt off you and your friends (Not in a sexy way. That...that'd be kind of weird).
Oculus (On Netflix, Amazon Video, & Google Play)
Now we get to the nitty-gritty. This film marketed itself as a psychological thriller, but make no mistake—this is genuine horror at its finest. When a young family brings an antique mirror with a dark past into their home, things go well...right up until the parents start torturing and killing family members (#relatable). Cut to 11 years later: The son (now 21) has been discharged from his mental hospital, and his sister (now 23) urges him to bring the mirror back into their now empty childhood home to do a scientific analysis of its powers. And boy, do they get some serious s*** to analyze.
With a gorgeous blend of amazing cinematography, a damn creepy soundtrack and a plot that messes with your head (and really attractive leads), Oculus is the intellectual's horror movie.
Last Shift (On Netflix, Amazon Video, & Google Play)
[In carnival barker voice] Abandoned places! Demonic cults! Fraying reality! Feeling like you're never quite alone! All this and more in Last Shift!
This film follows a new police force recruit on her first assignment—working the very last guard shift at the local police station before they abandon it for the new one. It's understandable, as the old station is full of dirty walls, antiquated technology, and maintenance issues, but as the main character soon realizes, that's not why they abandoned it. The whispers she starts to hear from the abandoned cell block are just the start of her night.
Last Shift does an incredible job with scaring the living bejeezus out of us, but not releasing the tension until the climax. The acting can get a little corny at times, but the editing style, scares, and atmosphere are mortifying. This movie gave me the first nightmares I've had in a literal decade. And the flashlight scene...My God, the flashlight scene (Watch it and you'll know what I mean).
The Taking Of Deborah Logan (On Netflix, Amazon Video, & Google Play)
For the love of God, how a movie can start this innocently and get this scary is beyond me.
A college student looking to create a documentary about Alzheimer's focuses her camera on Mrs. Deborah Logan—grandmother, a pillar in her community, and gardening enthusiast. Seen through the lens of the psych student's film friends, the film starts as a really genuine, kind look at how Alzheimer's affects families. I'd have kept watching that documentary if, suddenly, everything hadn't gone south faster than Americans when there's a discount at Waffle House. After Deb starts exhibiting behavior stranger than an Alzheimer's patient should , the family and students look into the rural town's dubious history and soon realize they're out of their league.
Deborah Logan is intelligent, ridiculously tense, scary as all hell, and legitimately hilarious at parts (Funny on purpose, not Troll 2 funny). It has a cast of genuinely fantastic actors, a horrifyingly amazing ending, and one camera shot that will stay in your mind for years after (You'll know the one when you see it). Basically, if you want to watch a movie that is tons of fun to watch with friends, has a great story, and will make you worry about actually pooping your pants, look no further.
Happy Halloween, my friends. And remember—there's definitely not someone in your bathroom right now. And it's definitely not Danny DeVito.
(Thanks to Nina, Jon, and Jalen for showing me some of these on late nights <3)