If you know me or you regularly read my articles, then you probably know that I have spent the past two or so years of my life with unnatural hair color. From purple, to teal, to pink, to dark blue, to green, to rainbow, I've basically done it all. Well, maybe not every color, but more than the average Joe. Having a fun hair color comes with a lot of perks; it is an easy fun fact to use during those awkward ice breaker games, I tend to get lots of complements and I never have to style my hair to make it look interesting. Of course there are plenty of downsides too, but I've already covered those.

I have grown rather attached to my hair color(s). I couldn't tell you the exact shade of my natural hair unless my roots are showing, and I honestly never thought about going back to dark brown. That is until I found out that I got into my study abroad program and landed an internship. That's when I knew I would have to kiss my pink hair goodbye for at least six months. Sure, it doesn't sound like a big deal, and I am probably being dramatic, but I really was nervous to dye my hair back. So nervous, in fact, that I waited until a few days before I left to actually buy the hairdye.

Currently I am in Australia, and I will start my internship in a week. It isn't that I thought having dyed hair here would be completely unacceptable, but I knew that I would already be stressed to the max by everything else. The last thing I needed was to call any unwanted attention to myself, especially since I wouldn't really know anyone. As for the internship, I doubt they would turn me away at the door if I walked in with green hair. Unfortunately, it is true that people don't necessarily view those with unnatural hair color as the most professional, and I wanted to make a good first impression.

As of right now, my hair is quite a few shades lighter than my original dark brown. So it teeters on the edge of blonde, but not quite. Intellectually, I understand that literally nothing about me has changed other than the color of my hair. My killer personality and quick wit are still fully intact, but I can't help but feel like a little piece of me is gone. As much as I hate to admit it, a large part of my self-confidence comes from my hair. As someone who has spent most of her life struggling with body image issues, it was nice to have one thing that I had 100% control of, one thing that I could change with the snap of my fingers. Well, a snap of my fingers and bleach, but same difference. I changed my hair color at a pivotal time in my life; I was dealing with the aftermath of some serious mental health issues. I had just changed schools. I was struggling to make new friends. I needed something that I had authority over, even something as simple as my hair color. After bugging my mom about it for a while, she finally agreed to let me give it a shot. I never looked back.

By the time I fly back home, my roots will probably grow out, and I'll have a full head of natural hair. Once my flight touches down and I get over jet lag, I'll probably reach for a brand new color that I've never tried before. Part of me wishes I'd had the guts to keep my dyed hair for study abroad. Mentally and logistically it was the right move to change it back, but it was still a huge bummer. As I get older, I know I'll have to adjust my appearance for jobs, but I hope to go into a line of work that I'll eventually be able to have freedom with my hair. Sure, it may make me look like a high school kid who never got over their scene phase. However, I am much more concerned about being happy and loving the way I look than any person's judgement.