I am a fear collector. It sounds weird and made up, and that’s probably because it is really weird and I just made it up, but every time I do something, I gain a new fear. When I watch a new movie, be it a funny movie or a scary movie, I gain a new fear, whether it’s "The Call" and I am now scared of going to the mall alone, or "Finding Nemo," which gave me an awkward fear of having a pet fish, for some reason. I may be an adult but I am still scared of all the things I feared when I was young, plus I’ve added on heaps and heaps of new fears.
Before I tell you how this odd disposition has actually helped me, I’ll entertain you some more with a couple of my least rational fears. I am afraid of my parents’ closet because it is uncommonly cold compared to their room. I am afraid to raise my blinds day or night because I’m afraid people will either stalk me or see how dirty my room is. I am a hypochondriac and a germaphobe and am constantly scared I’ve gotten some disease or illness. Some of my more rational and common fears are the dark, basements, stage fright, rejections and failure. I am also scared of driving over bridges and driving next to semi trucks. I don’t really know if people would count those as rational or irrational.
Despite all that I’ve said up to this point of how ridiculous this all is, I consider my vast holding of fears a strength. You see, every day people get up and face the day, and sometimes people even conquer the day, but when I get up to face the day I get up to face it through terror after terror. I am afraid of being too late or too early for anything for fear people might judge me, so I have to carefully plan out my timing in the morning to avoid these things. I’m terrified of getting answers wrong so I attempt to know as much as possible, less for the love of knowledge when it comes to class than to not be embarrassed. My fears have become my motivator for so much, including my organization and my punctuality. They are partly responsible for my good grades. However, it is most important when the fear holds me back because these are the times, many though they are, when I learn that I can persevere and I can push through the fears no matter how many there are present. I have learned that even when I am afraid of everything about a situation, if it is important to me, I can do anything I like. Fear does not control my life because I refuse to let it. It will not interfere with my dreams and my plans because I do not l allow it to. My fears are bountiful but my perseverance it just as boundless, and I will my weakness to be my strength.