I have spent a good portion of my life being cautious of men. I grew up knowing not to talk to any strangers, and to be especially wary of strange men. But from this caution eventually grew fear. It took years for it to develop, but when it did, it became almost overwhelming.

High school was average for me, I dated a little, but I could never convince myself to be completely comfortable with the boy I was dating at the time. If I got too comfortable, I was afraid that they'd leave and I'd be hurt emotionally, or that they would see me as weak and I never wanted that. So I never got attached. Come senior year, and I meet a boy a bit older than me who sparks something. I let myself be vulnerable in that relationship, and it ruined me for a long time afterward. Looking back, I see all of the red flags that I missed then, and I thank any higher being out there for my mom.

Mental and emotional manipulation can do a lot to someone in a short amount of time.

I spent almost a year being so afraid of men that I didn't know, that if one even looked at me too long I'd have to fight the urge to run away. I realize how dramatic this sounds, but it's true. In the time that I was healing, though, I became a lot more in tune with myself and I grew even closer to my friends.

By the time I got to college, I still harbored a good amount of fear and caution towards men. However, I was then many miles away from my past and I knew I had to work through it. For anyone who is struggling with the past, I have learned that physical distance can do wonders, but first you must also give it time. As I met more and more people, I learned how to put the past aside a bit and trust a bit more openly.

College has been incredible for me. I've grown so much as a person, learned an incredible amount, and met so many amazing people. Now my best friend is a man and I have met many other normal people who wouldn't dream of hurting me in any way. On top of that, I've met the man who I firmly believe is the one for me.

I've mostly gotten over my fear of men, but that doesn't erase the past.

I'm still cautious, especially when I visit the city, or a stranger approaches me which makes my heart race just a bit, and every now and again I check over my shoulder when I'm walking alone to make sure I'm not being followed. All of these things, though, aren't necessarily bad because they protect me. I'm not as naive as I once was, and that's just life. The point here is that time will heal, the past is the past, and all we can do about old wounds is grow from them.