Being in love is so coveted.

Everyone wants that really great love that’s everlasting.

That love that is absolutely timeless.

The kind of love that all of our grandparents have or had. The kind of love that they write books about and screen in movies. But do we actually realize how raw and vulnerable it requires us to be?

That’s so tough to give in today’s society.

I know I cling to my independence, my pride, and my mistakes too much to ever fully give enough to really experience that love.

Even when I love, I love with a measured part of me so that I can feel in control.

Love so deep is a love that is out of control, a tangled mess. It’s not the dysfunction and pain that the media insists on portraying. It’s more of the sharing of whatever else has caused you pain and how you have dealt with it. It’s more than seeming invincible and above all feelings.

Love like that is feeling. It’s feeling every emotion, every tickle in your stomach when you laugh with your whole heart. It’s feeling your mind wander and your thoughts drift when you tell about your dreams.

Love like that is the tingle in your legs when they are intertwined with that person's. It’s the tears streaming down your face because you’ve never smiled so hard. It's when your soul aches and when your chest is throbbing and aching because you miss that part of you. It’s all of that and so much more.

It’s not finding your other half. It’s not completion. It's addition, and it’s adding to your life in ways that you never knew existed.

I want that. I just don’t know if I’ll ever open up enough to really have it.

But if you find it, soak it in like a sunning cat, and write about it. Maybe I’ll get the courage to feel it too.