My medicine for being stressed is to take a late-night drive by myself, with the windows rolled down, blasting music for the whole town to hear, trying to block out everything that has me on the brink of crying.
However, one night, I wanted to get down to the root of my stress. Yes, being in college has definitely challenged all aspects of my life and I find it hard creating a balance. Between hanging out with friends and creating healthy relationships, being active in my sorority and clubs, working 20 hours a week, having 20 hours of challenging classes and fighting yourself to stay healthy is a lot for even Super Woman to juggle. But somehow, I am managing all this but quickly realized I am not happy. But why?
I determined that my stress all boils down to inability to say “no” and my constant need to please people. I take too much onto my plate because I am afraid that I am disappointing everyone around me. I get spread too thin trying to give 100 percent in everything that I do but in return, I am struggling to give 50 percent of my time and attention to something or someone because I was constantly thinking about someone or something else.
I felt powerless. I was trying to please everyone else but I wasn’t pleasing the one person that truly mattered...myself.
So, here’s what I did, I started saying no and not apologizing for it. “Hey, can you come into work early?” and “Would you mind if I skipped today and left you alone?” are questions I would frequently get and externally, I would respond with “Yes, I’ll be there shortly” although I really couldn’t and “No, I do not mind, see you another time” although I knew I couldn’t do something alone.
I used to think saying no was being rude and selfish and people would look at me differently. However, it is the complete opposite. It is OK to say no and feel great about your decision.
Instead of doing things that stress me out to the max or that I dread doing, I finally prioritize my needs first and place my happiness above anything else.
By truly figuring out what was important to me, I was able to create that balance that I have been craving. I had forgotten who I was and everything I valued because I never took any time to pay attention to myself. I was suffering in my own personal hell and writing it off as my obligation to everyone.
Although it killed me at the time, I had to quit some things and tell a few people no. It destroyed my inner being, in the long run, it benefited my mental and physical states. I learned that life isn’t perfect at all, and you will never find the perfect balance.
However, finding peace within yourself and your endeavors gives you the power to change the world, no matter how stressed you get.
