Ah, a new season of a life. A new chapter! Which also means...
...new people?
Externally, I do my best to appear congenial and friendly, ready to engage in conversations and get to know people.
Internally, I'm screaming with sweating palms and a nervous tic. I'm hounded by the possibility I'll say something to make myself appear the fool, overtly offend the new person I'm talking to forever and they'll see me daily and plot revenge, or frankly being received in an apathetic manner. What scares me the most is when I use my dashingly good humor (I know, I'm so funny! Probably funnier in person...) and it's met with silence. If anything discourages me faster in interacting with new people, it's being unresponsive to my attempts of bringing humor into the conversation.
Yet at the same moment I want to reach out to new people, get to know who they are and what they're about, learn from them, and be someone they can reach out to and have a good time with.
Long story short, my anxiety I won't make friends prevents me from making friends. Odd, isn't it? My fear is more prevalent the longer I go between making new friends. I remember going to Coffee Night at Farrar and after I walked in the door feeling paralyzed with fear. I'd spent so long worrying about myself and my problems I'd lost the ability to be relatable, as well as my confidence in myself.
I'd known the verse for a long time, but I finally hunted down the actual reference only a few days ago;
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin,yet I tell you,even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:25-34 (ESV)
I know, right? It's a lot, and not necessarily about making friends. But the passage relies on our understanding God is in control; our anxiety has no authority in our lives, nor does it provide the wonderful things God does for us on a day to day basis. Leaning on it cripples our ability to flourish under His tender and loving care.
As the new school year approaches (and it's comin' fast!) I want to encourage you to branch out. Of course love and welcome old friends and professors you have relationships with, but have confidence and seek new relationships with joy. Don't let worry and anxiety keep you from experiencing all He has in store for you.
