I believe Boyz II Men said (sang?) it best with their song, "It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday." And although their music video is full of death imagery, it still feels somewhat fitting for saying goodbye to college. Despite extensive research into music about moving on, no song really is able to fully capture the weird mixture of emotions I'm dealing with as I'm facing graduation in less than a week. I'd considered just trying to write my own and hiring a band that I would call "Boyz II Men 2: The Reckoning" (assuming I don't run into any legal issues) to record it, but by the time I had that idea it was much too late to actually pull off in what little time I have, so I guess I'm just gonna write an article about it instead.
I didn't really think I'd miss this place. In many ways, I actually probably won't miss it, but it's sunny today so Kirksville is playing its mind tricks, fooling me into believing this town isn't so bad (even though I have four years of experiences that prove it wrong).
What I know I'm gonna miss more than anything, though, is the people. When I wrote my letter to Truman, the one nice thing I was able to squeeze in alongside the angry rambling was that it did a great job of somehow attracting all the people I needed to meet during my college years. I don't know how Truman managed it, but I am genuinely grateful that it gave me the opportunity to meet the people who would eventually become my best friends.
These are the people who offered me endless support and encouragement, whether it was to pursue the things I was scared to even admit I wanted or to even just go to McDonald's for the third time that day. These are the people who taught me more about myself than I ever thought there was to know. These are the people who respond to my casually nihilistic views about life with understanding instead of judgment (shocking, because it's very, very easy to judge my bullshit). These are the people who made my time here actually mean something.
It's gonna be harder than anything to say goodbye to my friends and all the yesterdays we've shared. And I know it's not actually over, I know we'll still keep in touch and be able to celebrate each others' life achievements no matter how far apart we are. It's just gonna be different, is the thing. Everything is gonna be different.
That's not necessarily a bad thing. As someone who is very resistant to change, it's going to be hard. But also as someone who understands that nothing can ever progress without change, I know it's going to happen regardless of whether or not I want it to. Life does not ask permission. In fact, it doesn't give a shit about us at all. But again, not a bad thing. Just different.
I guess I want to thank Truman for being my home for the past four years. You've given me my lifelong friends. You've given me an endless craving for Mac N' Cheese pizza, the only thing Sodexo ever did right. And you've given me a lot of fodder for my inevitable memoir, even if some of the stuff that happened to me sounds incredibly fake (there's a large part of me that is convinced Kirksville is a little blip in reality where the laws of space and time simply do not apply).
So, goodbye, College. It's been real. Maybe.
P.S. Thanks for reading these silly little articles, you guys. Your support has meant the world to me.
