They say that if you have been friends with someone for seven years, that friendship will last forever.
I made it to year eight before I realized that our “friendship” was anything but one. One day, it finally clicked. I realized that our entire relationship was a series of episodes of us being inseparable, then sporadically forgetting each other’s existence, to finally getting to the point of you using me for whatever you needed to then throw me away like trash.
That’s not to say that I have not had other friendships like this, because I have. But I never let them last, I cut those people out of my life because I knew I deserved so much better. You told me that I deserved so much better. So much better than them and so much better than you. YOU told me I deserved a friend who valued and respected me as much as I did them. Maybe that’s why I stayed, because in you saying that, you gave me hope that you might turn it all around and give that to me. I would never try to take away from the fact that you picked up your phone whenever I called, even after months of not talking. You answer and listened, but only as much as you had to.
Our friendship teetered back and forth on the line of more than just friendship. It could have been so much more, and I wanted that, you told me you wanted that too.
Here’s where I call bull.
You convinced me that you had finally grown up and figured it all out. You were adamant that this time, you weren’t going to mess it up and you finally understood what you had in front of you. That didn’t last long. The disrespect you showed me is what sent me over the edge. After convincing me of how much I was worth to you and how much you were willing to give, you discarded me like I was nothing.
After years of back and forth with you, it’s time to say goodbye, and I know that I am ready to do that. I refuse to be a pawn in your game and I’m going to find something and someone who values me, my friendship, and maybe more.
When you finally realize that you pulled the last straw, it will already be too late. I feel sorry that you are going to miss out on me, even as just a friend. You have relied on me for so much and for so long, but I can’t do it anymore. I hope you figure it out, and I hope you miss me.
I would wish you nothing but the best, but you already had it.
