Growing up, I wasn't ever taught to give someone a compliment. I would hear my parents give and receive compliments and sometimes I would get paid a compliment, as well. No one, however, sat me down and said, "this is how you compliment someone, when to do it, and how to respond if they compliment you back." I think it's safe to say the majority of people were never strictly taught these things (if you are one of the few who was, consider yourself lucky). I'm not saying we need to have a class on it in school, but working in retail has made me realize something:
People usually don't voice the compliments they think about someone else.
That statement is a generalization, but working retail has taught me to voice the things I notice and like about another person. If I like a woman's shoes or her hairstyle, I tell her. I'm not complimenting her because I'm trying to sell her on something. I'm voicing my admiration because not only does it make me feel good, but I can visibly see the joy it brings to each person I compliment. They smileevery single time. I know from experience that when a stranger or even someone I know says, "hey, look good today," or "I like your hair" it makes my day. They are affirming the choices I made (i.e. the clothes I picked out or the haircut I just got). It's like getting a gold star or a high-five just for being you. Who doesn't want that? Which brings up this question:
Why aren't we all saying the compliments we think in our heads?
It doesn't harm us in any way and it takes less than five seconds to say something nice, so why are we so reluctant to affirm one another? So many people feel insecure with themselves and having someone else come along beside them and say, "I like this (fill in the blank) about you" can make such a difference. It's not weird and they won't think you're flirting (no guarantees on that one), but it's just a nice thing to do. I'm not saying you need to actively search for something to say to each and every person walking down the street. I'm just giving you a reminder that the next time you notice a person's shoes, outfit, hair, or whatever it may be, pay them a compliment.
