I am absolutely the kind of person who LOVES to talk about her significant other: he's a huge part of my life, one of my best friends, and one of the most wonderful people I know - why wouldn't I talk about him? So I'm going to use this article to shamelessly brag about my him, and give you a few pieces of advice that I've learned:
1. You are allowed to explicitly vocalize the things you do and don't want.
2. You cultivate the culture you want within your relationship.
Honesty is the best policy. It's much easier, to be honest about things than to hope your partner is a mind reader - and honestly, your partner probably isn't a mind reader so the best way to get what you want is to actually say what you want.
For example, I sent my boyfriend the following meme
Obviously, this was me not even trying to be subtle about telling him I wanted him to send me flowers. Well, a few days later...
This BEAUTIFUL mixed bouquet showed up on my doorstep and I came home from work to a surprise that filled my heart with love!
I know there's this ridiculous stigma that saying what you want sounds greedy, but being greedy makes you sound greedy - saying what you want makes you sound direct and honest. My boyfriend thanked me for telling him because he said he had wondered if I would like to receive flowers and I took the wonder out of it by giving him an answer to a question he didn't even ask.
So what's the point of this story? Well, first of all - it's an example of me explicitly asking for what I wanted. Second, it is yet another tactic in my effort to cultivate a culture of honesty and open communication within my relationship. If I'm not vocal about what I do and don't want, who's to say my boyfriend would be vocal about what he does and doesn't want? It's pretty much the same as "treat others you want to be treated," - act the way you want your partner to act because if you display the behavior you want to see, your partner will know it is acceptable and therefore (most likely) feel more comfortable acting that way.
Say what you want.
Say what you don't want.
And, if all goes well, your relationship will be defined by honesty and open communication.
