Sometimes we get stuck in sticky situations with friends that can leave us in an awkward position. Not everyone likes to drink and often in college you might find yourself being offered a drink. Don’t feel awkward, there’s no need to be weird about it! Here are 25 funny ways to say no to alcohol that get the message across without making anyone feel uncomfortable.
1. “I can’t. I’m underaged."
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2. “I have an 8 a.m. tomorrow!”
3. “Drinking makes me bloated.”
4. “I’m gluten-free, sorry.“
5. “It’s the Lord’s Day!”
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6. “I respect the Justice System.”
7. “That drink probably isn’t helping your weight gain, Stacey!”
8. “I told my mom I wouldn’t take a drink from anyone who looks like they make less than six figures.”
9. “I don’t need alcohol to have fun and dance, I have the rhythm of life.”
10. “I’m already drunk, actually!”
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11. “No thank you, vodka is the drink of the godless Bolshevik.”
12. “Drinking gives me really weird BMs.”
13. “You’re not of age, I’m calling the police!”
14. “You’re not of age, and I AM the police!”
15. “I’m on the Whole 30”
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16. “Just a beer? Where I’m from we make REAL drinks with lighter fluid, Gatorade, and a little bit of Rosé!”
17. “I’m already popular, I don’t need to drink.”
18. “OK, but the last time I drank I killed a guy.”
19. “I don’t have secrets I’m hiding from so I can stay sober.”
20. “Someone needs to drive and your car smells bad so it’s gotta be me!”
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21. “I have to meet with my probation officer tomorrow morning and I probably shouldn’t be hungover.”
22. “I value my brain cells.”
23. “Would you offer your mother a Fuzzy Nave?!”
24. “You mean to tell me you ruined a perfectly good jar of cherries by soaking them in alcohol?!”
25. “I’m a Mormon."
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There you have it folks, 25 surefire ways to turn down the Devil's nectar and keep things cool. The last thing you'd wanna do is look like a square, right? Remember, it's cool to be yourself. Never consume something you don't want to for someone else's sake.
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