Language can be so powerful, use it right, and you could change not only someone’s day, but impact the world. A good poem, a genuine written message, a sweet song, a good conversation or even an impactful gaze from the eyes of another, are all forms of language. Fear comes into play when what we want to say has consequences consisting of rejection or backlash. Sadly, these are usually the things that need to be said. It can be hard to express yourself in a healthy, genuine, and non-abrasive manner.
Differentiating from what the head and the heart want to say can be difficult as well. Our emotions can be very overpowering when we are in vulnerable states, making what we want to say come out in the wrong way. Expressions of every emotion are possible, but most times taking the advice of John Mayer and saying what you need to say is easier sang than done.
Ultimately, having the confidence to speak out is really admirable, and something I think each and every human being can work on. I have learned in my life that saying things earlier rather than later has a much better outcome than bottling it all up only to come out in a stream of word vomit down the line. There are countless instances where if myself, or another person would have just straight up spoke their mind, life would be a little easier. But, the past is the past and the present is the perfect time to speak.
I’m not sure if anyone on the planet thoroughly enjoys face to face confrontation, I know I don’t, which is why paper to face confrontation is more my cup of tea. It is hard to get everything you want to say out in a conversation when you are in the in the heat of the moment. A list or bullet points can help, but the other person may find it weird that you came prepared with notes for what they thought was maybe a casual conversation. Some people may think less of those who choose to write out a letter and leave it for them to find on their bed or doorstep. Personally, I appreciate handwritten arguments, apologies or inquiries. Taking the time to put your thoughts together in a mature way might even show more strength, since you are showing that you care enough to give the other person a genuine expression of how you are feeling. Obviously, face to face conversation is necessary and important, but sometimes prefacing a civil conversation with a genuine letter can be beneficial.
Whichever medium of expression/language you choose, you are still in better shape than those who choose to close themselves off to the idea of confrontation, conversation, or expression in general. So go out and mail that letter. Ask someone to meet for coffee. Cry in front of the one who hurt you. Healthfully release your anger from the top of a large hill or parking ramp. Share a song or favorite quote with the person who needs to hear it most.
I feel that the things we do not say or express can haunt us more than the things we were brave enough to say or convey. Take the time to put your thoughts together, but take too much time and the moment for well put expression could pass. It takes but a second to say “I love you” and only a second more to say “but you hurt me”. Never hesitate, because if I have learned anything, the longer you wait the deeper root it takes. Eventually whatever was meant to be expressed becomes so ingrained in your thoughts it's hard to focus on anything else. So say it now and compose it with truth, because the most important parts of expression are the genuine words and the person whose eyes you are staring into.
