Growing up, we grow scared of everything called a "social norm" in the world we live in today.
We look under the bed and in our closest for the boogeyman.
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We shut one eye and peek through the other when watching a scary movie.
We run from people dressed up on Halloween at hay rides.
But the last thing we ever think we will fear is ourselves. Meet me, a person who has feared myself. Growing up, we never learn to be scared of ourselves; we learn to trust ourselves, find comfort in our own minds. We learn that we are our very own safe place, that all we need is ourselves. Whatever makes us happy is the decision we go for in life. But what happens when you can't decipher that?
When you house a mind that is complex, how do you find the safe place in yourself? When your mind is telling you to do things you know are not right, like harming yourself, or shutting yourself away from the world, you can't trust yourself.
You are supposed to be your best keeper, you are suppose to be the one who takes the most care of yourself.
The very self that you are trying so hard to keep safe on a daily basis is trying to destroy itself. You get this body, full of beautiful life, something people pray for. Every night, people pray for a long and healthy life, while people with complex minds are unconsciously putting theirs are risk when they just can't help it.
I am 18 years old, and I am still scared of things. I am scared of things much more terrifying than the Conjuring or Annabelle, I am scared of myself.
I am 18 years old, and I am still learning to I need to trust myself. I am learning that its okay to trust, that it is okay to accept self worth. I am learning that I can be saved, I can be saved by myself. The same me that is destroying me is the same me that can build me up.
I am on a journey, I am on a journey of saving myself, from myself.
