Dear Momma,

I know you are not proud of me, for what I've done. You know you raised a warrior so this message should not take you by surprise. I want you to know I did everything I could to stay in God's grace. I realize now, what I did was wrong but who could blame me? I was raised by a woman who taught me how to pick my battles and fight for what I love. I had to fight for myself. Momma, if you're reading this, please let the world know I never meant to hurt anyone. I wanted to be free, therefore, chose to free myself and this is why.

He

took from me

more than what meets the eye

I lost sleep to escape a maze of confusion

An illusion. He played easy to get.

I saved all my love for him.

Did he ever think we'd get far knowing he could never be the one for me?

Maybe that's what happened, we both could see the truth and still misconstrued one another for pleasure.

Maybe that's my bad. I wanted it so bad. I wanted his lies to transform into the sun from a storm.

Before sin, the apple was still formed.

I wonder if Eve knew she'd be the one to perform a cruel act against man.

She took from him and laid undressed in her natural contour.

Still in beauty, but she was no more.

He was my apple

I was the tree

A seed he planted deep within me conceived a life that could not withstand a mockery of love.

I lost sleep to escape a maze of confusion.

An intrusion of doubt and shame swept over me like a flame

taking everything within me out of my reach

He lays in bed, asleep. I know he dreams of being better.

Better realize he will never be until he is himself.

He can't take from me, no more.

Who I am.

I am tired.

I should get

some sleep.

Or better yet,

kill his ass.