If you read my article last week, you saw a person with a lot of raw words and a tangled storyline. If you didn't catch it, check out the link at the bottom of the page.

I am going to be doing some more processing today, so hang with me. Last week, I talked a lot about messy life, and I'm going to chase that rabbit a little further down the hole. I think I avoided writing this article more than last week's, simply because of how well the last one was received. I wasn't expecting a big response or for that article to resonate with many people. But you know, that's what Satan does. He either tries to convince you that your story and your walk are insignificant, that you walk it alone, and that no one else would want to bear witness to any part of it, or that you will never live out of anything else other than your story, your mess.

"You're ugly, your mess is too much to share, so go back to your hole."

"You're like a broken record and you're never going to be anything but. You're only going to be heard if you continue to rant about your pain."

I heard those words in my head all over again after writing last week's article. He tripled his efforts and came after me with vengeance. Stepping back into the light of the freedom we know in Jesus and tasting authenticity after darkness is one thing, but staying there is another.

I am terrible at this. I can be undisciplined, forgetful, and naive. Our enemy is good at what he does, and he's going to come after you with convincing lies. If we pretend he's not, then he's gotten us believing a huge part of the lie already.

So I am going to try and stay here, with the help of my Father. I have been a Christ follower for 13 of my 23 years, and I still get distracted, still don't get it all sometimes, and continue to wonder how I fit into all of this. And that's okay. I think a lot of us are a little more stumped than we care to admit when we argue this and that.

I've had to continue digging and exposing those lies. Even when I think I've gotten to the bottom, I know the work I still have to do. Last week, I had to confront a lie I had no idea I was dealing with until I actually wrote it down: "You're not going to be able to get past your past." Does that one sound familiar to anyone? It's been ringing in my ears for days.

Here's my question for you guys now, because I'm wondering if this is something we've been missing. I did.

What if our broken stories and wounds have become our ceilings? What if we've set up camp in our struggle and we've decided to live out of it for the rest of our lives? When it's all that we talk about because we can't see past the lies of unworthiness, loneliness, and old patterns and habits that just won't change. We get stuck, like broken records, trying to find purpose in the dependability of habit and stagnant living. Sometimes, it feels more safe to stay stuck. It can almost become an obsession with finding roadblocks, just because digging past it is so hard. Standing on your own two feet again after getting knocked down is hard. Have we become our own roadblock because we've been living in lies?

I wonder what we as creators, problem solvers, teachers, and learners could do if we allowed Jesus to bust up the ceiling above us? That ceiling we've seen as safety and protection for so long, but it's really been used as a limitation. "But Jesus, I don't think I have anything else past that story." I've said that.

What if we let our story unfold and let our messiness and our growth happen from right under our feet instead of letting the past hang over our heads? Let it push you up, not down. Let it give you a new steppingstone. Let the light in, don't block it with our shaky excuses and but-I'm-scared's.

Last week: The Story I Don't want To Tell