It’s that time of the year. Christmas is over and the last holiday of the season is New Year’s Eve. I can’t wait to see everyone’s resolutions and promises for the upcoming year of 2016 (sarcasm). Here’s the thing: just because a new year is about to commence, doesn’t mean you get a clean slate or a “new you.” That’s not how it works, people. Stop making New Year’s resolutions you’re only going to abide by for a week or two, and then go back to your old ways and/or habits.

You can always make improvements or better yourself, but that’s not a new person. You’re simply becoming the person you’re supposed to be. Accept and love your flaws because they are what have shaped and molded you into the person you are today. So instead of making pretentious resolutions, try something different this year. Many people fail themselves when it comes to resolutions, but you can do something that will actually assist you in making the change(s) in your life that you want — goal setting! Setting detailed goals are more probable to work out versus wishing for change. Here’s why New Year’s resolutions are likely to fail:

They are not specific enough. You want to “go to the gym more” or “fit into your prom dress from years ago,” however, you make no changes to your current lifestyle to achieve that particular goal. In fact, it was never stated how that objective was to be completed or even when it should be completed by. You can’t aimlessly wish for change, you actually have to do something in order for that to happen. Shocker, right? Set a start and end date — you want to be able to do [this] by [this date]. That goal is definitive because you either achieve it or you don’t. Plain and simple. The responsibility is yours, but it’s always nice to have a support system to turn to for encouragement. However, it’s important to remember that you are the one who must decide it’s time for a change in behaviors or habits. You are the one who has to set the realistic goal(s). You are the one who has to follow through with it! Wanting something is easy; actually doing something about it is where people fall short.

They are unrealistic. You are not going to lose 20 pounds, make six figures, travel the world, and find your true love in a week. That would be awesome, but the likelihood of that happening is slim to none. Give yourself time to make changes or adjustments — it won’t happen in the blink of an eye. Don’t take on too many goals and/or changes at once. You want to be able to give 100% of your time and effort, if you have too many goals you may be setting yourself up for failure. Plan one goal at a time so when you succeed at one, you will have more confidence to continue making goals. If you set the bar too high, you will become discouraged when you are not meeting your expectations. You are your biggest critic. Don’t beat yourself down, rather give your self a timeline when you would like whatever change to happen. Take baby steps and know that each day you’re taking one step forward. Lack of planning is another big issue. You may verbally say what you would like to happen, but you never take it to the next level and figure out how exactly you are going to conquer whatever it is that you desire. You have to set aside time and figure out what it is you want, but most importantly you have to have passion! While you’re figuring out what you want, you also need to understand why you want it. This is a major factor in the success of your goal planning. If you don’t know why you want to make a change or do something, what’s the point?

Each day holds an opportunity for change. Why on earth would you wait for a new year to decide you want to change? Visualize exactly what you want and go after it! You will have days where it seems impossible but you will also have days where you can see the finish line in sight. Don’t give up because you hit one bump in the road — keep trucking forward. Life is full of chances; it’s your job to take them.

Love and be kind to yourself. This can be the hardest thing, but it’s the most important. Give yourself grace; you are going to fail at times. It’s bound to happen because you are human and you do make mistakes. Don’t beat yourself up over it, rather take a step back and see how you can learn from it. Failure is one of the building blocks towards success. How are you ever going to learn if you don’t fail a time or two? I’m not saying to accept failure as an outcome or that you should love to fail, what I’m saying is that when you do fail learn from it and let it be your motivation to succeed the next time.You need to remove the words “I can’t” from your vocabulary. If you think you can’t do something and you’re constantly telling yourself that, guess what? It’s not going to happen. Have faith in yourself and be your biggest cheerleader. Tell yourself you can do it and you will in due time. Always remind yourself that you are good enough!

Goal setting requires commitment and the desire for something. Do yourself a favor — stop wishing to be a “new you” and start doing something to become the greatest version of yourself. Happy New Year!