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Safe (?) Spaces

What a boys' bathroom, high school Bible study, and College Democrats have in common

Sara Auger

Oct 31, 2016

Emory University

The Harvard Kennedy School Citizen

At Emory, freshman have to endure the once a week, 50 minute nothing class. The faculty calls it PACE. We call it pointless. As I was wracking my brain for something valuable to say this week, I had a flash back to this class. One comment in particular, about safe spaces. The gist of this girl's thought is one that sounds really nice: everyone should be welcome and feel safe everywhere. The professors nodded appreciatively, but one guy disagreed. "Everyone is not meant to be welcome everywhere."

That got some shock from the more... sensitive among us.

However, in my quiet back-row way, I completely agree.

Now, I'm probably going to get a lot of cringes from the PC millennial generation for thinking that, but it's true. Obviously, some spaces should be safe for everybody. Places like a classroom. Dining hall. Library. Everyone should feel safe i these places, and their own dorm room or bathroom.

But I shouldn't feel welcome in the boys' bathroom. Guess why? Cause I'm not welcome in the boys bathroom. That is not a space meant for me.

I'm also not welcome in a support group for people who've been sexually assaulted, because I haven't been, and I;m not what that group was created for. I'm not welcome in a Bible study for guys, or for college graduates, or for high school students, because they're tackling issues that I'm not and I don't need to know about.

Before you get mad about it (if you are) think about it another situation. If you're a Black Lives Matter activist at a rally, would you want All Lives Matter supporters there? Would you want a BLM rally to be a safe space for ALM activists? Probably not. Or take America's least favorite people (but favorite "Baby It's Cold Outside" duet) Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump.

I guarantee Hillary's safe space doesn't have Donald Trump in it, and he wouldn't be welcome in her safe space (and vice versa.) Hillary wouldn't be welcome in my safe space either, and I wouldn't be welcome in a lot of safe spaces (here's looking at you, College Democrats.)

And that's okay. It is okay to not be welcome everywhere. It doesn't make the "intruder" bad, it doesn't make those intruded upon bad. It's like when your towel falls in the communal bathroom. It's no one's fault, but shouldn't we do our best to avoid it and be polite when it happens?

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"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

Please hold your blonde joke.

1. "Is Elle Woods your spirit animal?"

2. "Is that your natural hair color?"

3. "Oh wow, you get good grades at school?"

4. "You must really like the color pink!"

5. "You’re probably not into sports, right?"

6. "You must have such a bubbly personality."

7. "Your wardrobe must consist of all things preppy."

8. "What sorority are you in?"

9. "You were probably a cheerleader in high school."

10. "You look like you’re from L.A. because your hair is so light."

11. "You definitely like Pumpkin Spiced Lattes from Starbucks!"

12. "Do you actually think blondes have more fun?"

13. "You must encompass the typical “white girl” stereotype."

14. "Is that daddy’s credit card you’re using?"

15. "So all of your friends are blonde too?"

16. "I’m surprised about you; I thought you would be a lot ditsier."

The world's greatest university meets the world's greatest show.

1. When you get your acceptance letter

2. When you try to figure out how class enrollment works

3. When it’s move in day

4. When you arrive on campus and see all of the attractive people

5. FROG Week

6. When you find your squad

7. When you visit DHall (RIP) or EHall for the first time

8. When you take on way too many credits

9. When you go to your first party at JMU

10. When the rival school shows up for the homecoming game (or any game really)

11. Sunday Brunch

12. When you see the infamous “preacher” for the first time

13. The first snow day

14. Madipalooza

15. When finals week rolls around

16. When you have to say goodbye

17. And when you finally get to go back

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