I’m certainly no expert when it comes to dating, but I’m pretty sure we all know a little something about the giant, imaginary rulebook that goes along with it. So we’re all playing this game, but does anyone know who’s actually winning? I sure as hell am not. Let’s take a step back and look at a few of the rules.

Rule #1: Ignore the person you like in order to get them to like you.

Basically, we’re all supposed to pretend the person we’re into doesn’t exist. I’m sorry, are we still in 1^st grade? So you’re crushing on this boy and he’s all you think about, but you wouldn’t dare shoot him a text or wave to him at school because that’s just not in the manual. I get the whole “distance makes the heart grow fonder” thing, but if the guy barely knows you, then he has no idea what he’s missing out on. Maybe it works if you’re Beyoncé, but that sounds like a dead end approach to me.

Rule #2: Never compliment the person you like because that’s considered losing.

We’re letting this game make us cocky, you guys. Since when is it a bad thing to be honest and tell people how we feel? Meanwhile, we’re all screaming on the inside, “OMG, he’s literally perfect!” But my goodness, we’d lose our turn in the game and be sent straight to jail if we ever said anything like that out loud. Seriously, I don’t think it would kill us to get off our high horse and be vulnerable every once in a while.

Rule #3: Put up an extremely large wall for as long as humanly possible.

Come on, at least throw a ladder down and let some people in. Let’s pretend there’s a super cute boy in your math class. In the real world, you would wait all semester for him to look your way, stalk him on Facebook for a hundred hours, sit a few seats closer to him as a sad attempt to catch his eye, and ultimately, miss out on the guy of your dreams. In a parallel universe, you would knock down that wall, flag him down after class, and let him know you were interested. Wow, unheard of, right?

Rule #4: Hide behind your phone screen to ensure that you don’t say anything dumb in person.

I get it. I say the most random things when I’m nervous and talking to the cutie in math class, but you’ve got to stop freaking out and overanalyzing. Modern dating is seriously the struggle with all of the technology we have today. We get a text from our crush and we have to wait hours to respond so that we don’t seem too eager. Can we please just put our phones down and lift our heads up for 5 seconds? This is absurd.

So here’s the thing, if you have to bend over backwards to make sure you’re following all the rules, then ditch the guy or girl. They aren’t worth your time. I’d like to openly praise the person who isn’t afraid to lose the game every once in a while. Because, while the rest of us sit here waiting for a text back, you’ll be racking up all the points. You’re the real MVP.