An endless cycle
of up and down,
repetition that
never seems to end.
It makes me wonder
and it makes me cry.
it's what led me
to drive to the top of the city
and recall every time
I've repeated my actions
and screwed up
each time I felt like
there was some sort of purpose
of trying in the first place.
My mother used to say
at least you tried
and I always question what trying means.
Is it putting myself in the same scenarios?
Or removing myself and moving on
only to accidentally end up
making the same mistake?
I think it's a little bit of both,
and honestly
the pattern is getting old.
Repetition makes me want
to stop everything all together
and wait until the day I know
the cycle will stop,
and the clock will quit resetting itself.
no feeling
no meaning
no point.
a sign
a light
a hope.
Repeat.
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