About this time last year, I was constantly thinking about rush. I had my outfits planned out, what I was gonna say and I was researching each sorority that was on my campus. I was fully determined to find my home. Fall came around and rush could not have been more perfect for me. Or so I thought.
Long story short, things didn't work out and I ended up having to break my pledge with my sorority. As I was doing this, I was constantly asking myself, "Why are you doing this, Sam? You worked so hard, and now you're just going to give it all up?" My head said, "No, stay in the sorority," but my heart was saying, "This isn't the home for you. Don't stay a part of something if you aren't in love with it." So I listened to my heart.
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Many think that this experience would prevent me from rushing again, however, that's false! I am rushing again and I couldn't be more excited. In fact, I truly believe that I am more excited for this year than I was last year. I have never been more ready to be a part of something special, to run into a group of girls' arms on bid day. To have that place to call home. You don't always find your home the first time around, and I was one of the ones who didn't.
Now, to answer some of the many questions that both myself and other people have asked me: "Am I terrified that a repeat of last year will happen this year?" Absolutely, yes! Am I worried that I won't receive a bid? Yes, but truthfully, aren't we all? There's so many thoughts and emotions running through my head, but above them all is excitement. Because I believe that everyone deserves a second chance, and I am beyond excited that I might get the chance to have mine.
So I didn't find my home the first time around. Does it suck? Absolutely, more than you can even imagine. Am I going to let it ruin my college experience? Nope! So, honestly, my only reason I have given throughout this whole process is, "It wasn't the other girls, it was me," and that's the truth. The girls in the sorority I was a part of were nothing but nice to me in every way possible. It was kinda like one of those "it's not you, it's me" breakups.
Finally, just know this. Yes, I got knocked down, but guess what? I'm up! And just in case you were wondering, I do already have my outfits all planned out. I have been practicing what I am going to say, and I plan on making this rush experience be just as memorable and exciting as the first. And I just know in my heart that I will find a place that I can call my home for the rest of my life. Everything is different the second time around.
