I'll just come out and say it: I'm running out of ideas.

I am pretty sure that when God/my parents/that stork made me, they decided to impact within me a finite amount of ideas. I am truly disappointed to report that this well has just about run dry.

You see, I've had a pretty good run thus far. I've used childhood stories and memories to inspire me for my Odyssey articles, stand-up sets, and comedy sketches. However, all of those stories and memories have almost all been used by now. My only option may be to change my identity and move from small village to small village for the rest of my life, repeating the same tried-and-true comedic bits that I've said before, because I simply lack the ability to come up with anything new.

It's tragic, really.

I want so badly to give you, my 3-10 (approximate) loyal readers (AKA my mom -- my dad doesn't know how to use computers and my brother is probably "too busy" -- some RAD high school teachers of mine, and the occasional friend), new and exciting content. I want to make you say, "wow" or "that's kind of funny," oh so badly, and you DESERVE to have that half-hearted chuckle on a random Monday afternoon. But I don't know what to tell you.

At this point, I'm considering getting a surgery that could change the course of my life forever. It's very risky, and there are both pros and cons. The main con is that there's a 90% chance the operation would kill me. The pro is that it'd be a brain transplant/switcheroo with Jerry Seinfeld, which would probably boost my content production substantially.

Sigh.

I'm sorry for the weak content, my loyal fans. You deserve so much better. So you know what? I'm gonna get that surgery... TOMORROW. And next week, I guess you'll just have to wait and see if a new article comes out, or if you never hear from me again.

Wish me luck!!

-Maddy/Future Jerry Seinfeld