Earlier this semester I was struggling with being myself around all of my friends in fear that they wouldn't like who I am. I’ve changed a lot over the past year, and I was afraid that my friends wouldn’t accept the person that I am becoming. I was consumed with the idea that what was most important was whether or not my friends liked me. I was so afraid that I would lose all of my current friends by being who I am around them. I thought they would reject me.
One day I was having a heart-to-heart with one of my closest friends and I was telling her all about this issue I was having. This particular friend was there for me through some of the biggest obstacles and changes in my life, accepting and loving me through it all. So I knew she was the right one to talk to about my fears. She then dropped a golden piece of advice on me:
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“If they liked you before, they are most likely going to still like you now. And if they don’t, were they ever a true friend?”
At that point, I was still a little skeptical about getting my friends’ acceptance. But this friend has never steered me wrong before, so I trust her advice. After a couple days, what my friend said really sunk in. What’s the point of friends if I can’t be myself around them? That’s not fair to either of us. How do I expect to get to where I want to be in life if I’m constantly lying to myself and others?
So that is where my #1 rule came from.
Rule #1: Stay True To Yourself
In this day and age, staying true to yourself it isn’t the easiest thing to do. Perception is everything. We live in a world where everyone’s number one concern is how they will come across to others. The pressure to fit in is so high; society tells us exactly what is accepted and what is not. Often times people will make decisions based on how they think they will be perceived by others, not based on how they truly feel. Everyone wants to be accepted, even if it means changing who you are. When you allow others to dictate how you live your life, you lose yourself. Losing yourself is easy, but finding yourself again is hard. Is it worth it to be someone you’re not and lose yourself, just to fit in with a certain group of people? More than likely, there’s a group of people that you would fit in with perfectly by just being yourself. Staying true to yourself is so many things. Staying true to yourself is expressing your true colors even if they’re not the mainstream thing. Staying true to yourself is standing up for who and what you believe in even if it’s not the most favored option. Staying true to yourself is putting yourself first.
Since I had that heart-to-heart with my close friend, I’ve started to care less about how others see me and more about how I see myself. I’ve started to focus more on being myself and due to that I have been a much happier person. I love being myself.
