"Scars"

This poem is one of the most important ones I watched when I went through my first REAL heartbreak. It was the summer between my junior and senior years of high school. After realizing that I would quite possibly never speak to my first love again, I went through a period which could only be described as despair. With the thought of losing what I felt would be forever, I clung to every word that was in this poem and realized that it was all true. Feeling used and needing solace, it was the poem of reality for me.

"Your God"

I have always had struggles with my religious beliefs. I was having a problem with the hate in the hearts of Christians who would love anyone... as long as they weren't gay, didn't express feeling uncomfortable in their own skin or express the want to be different then they were. I was awestruck by the amount of who saw not being straight as an irredeemable sin but heard half the things that Donald Trump has said, ever... Anyway, at the end of this poem, he kind of makes a relevant point that my God doesn't need to be that kind of god.

"Chameleon"

I feel like the meaning of this poem could come from whatever it is that you chose to focus on within it. I could listen to this poem and get so many good messages. Messages like gender identity, gender roles, the art of being under the radar, changing yourself to get something you want, manipulation... The list of things I get from it grows every time I read and hear it. What I think stands out the most is that he is willing to admit to it and apologize for it. Often, we make the mistake of saying that you should have known the reputation of the person you were with before you got with them. But in all honesty, that shouldn't be a societal excuse for the behavior.

"To The New Boyfriend"

This poem is most often, if not always, coupled with Scars. At about 1:47, To The New Boyfriend starts. There is serious nothing rational about love, I kid you not. I was a different person when I fell in love with my first love. That may have been why it hurts so much when he left, I grew as a person with him and for me, that was what I need to get through high school. I was doing the most irrational and crazy things for his attention and he antagonized and played his games off of that. I was playing to win him over while he was just playing me. You see, we were never really ever in a relationship and the romanticized version of us that was in my head would never be a reality. I would wish that he was capable of actual feelings for anyone other than himself but I realized- too late- that it was never going to happen for me. I would risk relationships that were actually going somewhere for 5 or 10 minutes of his "undivided" attention. I would sneak around stairwells and find ways to meet him weird places all the time.

"Letter to the Body"

This poem, along with Petal, are poem I should probably be listening to and reading more often. Petal is my favorite poem because along with a verse in the poem above, it reminds that the aggression of my anger issues isn't the solution. It's more like the evil villain's sidekick who actual made the plans just didn't go through with them on their own. If my aggression were a person, I'm not I would be able to look them in the face. This poem should be on my playlist for every morning- if I had one.