The following writing was originally published on my personal blog. You can visit it here. Edits have been made for creative purposes.=
"I can't tell if it's killing me or it's making me stronger."
Recently, college has been very difficult. Between strenuous classes, working for my university's Admission Office, and deciding the steps to the path of my future, I have gotten to the point where I'm not sure if this life is killing me or making me a stronger person.
Daily, I am faced with so many hurdles, and recently it seems that although I am making it over the hurdles, I am bleeding and bruised beyond repair.
This pain of hitting hurdles over and over is unbearable but it means something incredible. It means that no matter the fact that I am hitting them, I am still getting over them. Yes, it hurts, but it's progress. Progress is a good thing.
This life's hardships aren't killing you. They are, no matter how hard it is to believe, making you stronger. One thing I have been struggling with believing is God's love. Some days I sit and think, how could the person who has amazing plans for my life give me this to deal with and triumph over? How is placing me in painful situations apart of His love? Why would God do this to me?
I will be honest. I haven't figured out the answers to these questions yet. I am still trying to wrap my mind around the idea that He is giving me this because He loves me.
They say God never gives us more than we can handle. I believe that this is wrong.
God gives us hardships, really hard hardships. He places situations in our lives that hurt us immensely and deeply. He absolutely does not expect us to handle this alone. He is testing us in the best way He can. I believe I have been given difficult things because it is God's way of forcing me, kindly of course, to trust in Him.
I have learned I can't keep moving without God. God is with me when I glide gracefully over the hurdles in life, but here's the catch: God is also with me when I ungracefully trip over the hurdles in my life.
The moral is that no matter if you can feel His presence or if you are braving rough water, God is there. There to help you swim, there to carry you when you cannot walk, there to tell you how much you are loved when you cannot remember. Rough water teaches us that God is stronger and with His help, we will overcome.
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