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9 Homemade 'Roses Are Red' Parodies I Created From Basic Newspaper Headlines

Want a little inappropriate humor to brighten up your day?

Grace Maneein

Nov 30, 2018

Alpharetta, Georgia

459

9 Homemade 'Roses Are Red' Parodies I Created From Basic Newspaper Headlines

David Fanuel / Unsplash

I'm not going to lie, I'm in a rut. Junior year has hit me hard, and I often find myself seeking refuge in passably funny tweets. Above all tweets, my favorites have forever been the "Roses are red, violets are blue" parodies. And I thought, I should make some. I hope you have as much fun reading my attempt at making passably funny parodies of this classic love poem as I had making them.

1. Roses are red, remember to say please—

Homicide victims rarely talk to police.

2. Roses are red, carrots help your vision—

Porn star sues over rear-end collision.

2. Roses are red, we should save the bees—

17 remain dead in morgue shooting spree.

4. Roses are red, my mother likes journey—

Man accused of killing lawyer receives a new attorney.

5. Roses are red, ninja turtles are mutant—

Mississippi's literacy program shows improvement.

6. Roses are red, six comes before seven—

Federal agents raid gun shop, find weapons

7. Roses are red, humans can't fly—

Statistics shows that teen pregnancy droops off significantly after age 25.

8. Roses are red, America has guns—

County to pay $250,000 to advertise lack of funds.

9. Roses are red, in the opera lives a phantom—

roses are red

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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9 Homemade 'Roses Are Red' Parodies I Created From Basic Newspaper Headlines

Want a little inappropriate humor to brighten up your day?

In This Article:

1. Roses are red, remember to say please—

2. Roses are red, carrots help your vision—

2. Roses are red, we should save the bees—

4. Roses are red, my mother likes journey—

5. Roses are red, ninja turtles are mutant—

6. Roses are red, six comes before seven—

7. Roses are red, humans can't fly—

8. Roses are red, America has guns—

9. Roses are red, in the opera lives a phantom—

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The Belchers hold the key to a better life.

because none of us actually do have it all together

1. Making yourself dinner

2. Wearing real clothes to class

3. Steering clear of procrastination

4. Doing your laundry

5. Keeping your notes organized

6. Cleaning your room

7. Going to the gym

8. Actually doing well in school

#Adulting is hard.

1. Taking care of yourself when you're sick

2. Making a to-do list

3. Planning your activities around the weather

4. Scheduling your own doctor’s appointments

5. Getting your own toilet paper

6. Making food without needing to ask your mom questions

7. Holding your tongue

8. Saving your paycheck (or your tax refund) to pay your bills

9. Balancing your checkbook

10. Going places alone

11. Packing your own lunches

12. Actually eating your vegetables...on purpose

13. Taking a multivitamin

14. Planning a life after graduation

Sometimes bigger isn't always better.

1. If something happens, everyone knows about it

2. Never getting to be invisible

3. Knowing every single thing about every single person in the town

4. New kids are a big deal

5. It’s hard to make new friends

6. On that note ... the dating pool is even smaller!

7. Teachers are weirdly close to their students

8. It forced you to make friends out of school

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3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

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