I'm not going to lie, I'm in a rut. Junior year has hit me hard, and I often find myself seeking refuge in passably funny tweets. Above all tweets, my favorites have forever been the "Roses are red, violets are blue" parodies. And I thought, I should make some. I hope you have as much fun reading my attempt at making passably funny parodies of this classic love poem as I had making them.
1. Roses are red, remember to say please—
Homicide victims rarely talk to police.
2. Roses are red, carrots help your vision—
Porn star sues over rear-end collision.
2. Roses are red, we should save the bees—
17 remain dead in morgue shooting spree.
4. Roses are red, my mother likes journey—
Man accused of killing lawyer receives a new attorney.
5. Roses are red, ninja turtles are mutant—
Mississippi's literacy program shows improvement.
6. Roses are red, six comes before seven—
Federal agents raid gun shop, find weapons
7. Roses are red, humans can't fly—
Statistics shows that teen pregnancy droops off significantly after age 25.
8. Roses are red, America has guns—
County to pay $250,000 to advertise lack of funds.
9. Roses are red, in the opera lives a phantom—
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