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9 Homemade 'Roses Are Red' Parodies I Created From Basic Newspaper Headlines

Want a little inappropriate humor to brighten up your day?

Grace Maneein

Nov 30, 2018

Alpharetta, Georgia

446

9 Homemade 'Roses Are Red' Parodies I Created From Basic Newspaper Headlines

David Fanuel / Unsplash

I'm not going to lie, I'm in a rut. Junior year has hit me hard, and I often find myself seeking refuge in passably funny tweets. Above all tweets, my favorites have forever been the "Roses are red, violets are blue" parodies. And I thought, I should make some. I hope you have as much fun reading my attempt at making passably funny parodies of this classic love poem as I had making them.

1. Roses are red, remember to say please—

Homicide victims rarely talk to police.

2. Roses are red, carrots help your vision—

Porn star sues over rear-end collision.

2. Roses are red, we should save the bees—

17 remain dead in morgue shooting spree.

4. Roses are red, my mother likes journey—

Man accused of killing lawyer receives a new attorney.

5. Roses are red, ninja turtles are mutant—

Mississippi's literacy program shows improvement.

6. Roses are red, six comes before seven—

Federal agents raid gun shop, find weapons

7. Roses are red, humans can't fly—

Statistics shows that teen pregnancy droops off significantly after age 25.

8. Roses are red, America has guns—

County to pay $250,000 to advertise lack of funds.

9. Roses are red, in the opera lives a phantom—

roses are red

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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It’s here; that time of year when college students turn into preschoolers again. We cry for our mothers, eat everything in sight, and whine when we don’t get our way. It’s finals, the dreaded time of the semester when we all realize we should have been paying attention in class instead of literally doing anything else but that. Everyone has to take them, and yes, unfortunately, they are inevitable. But just because they are here and inevitable does not mean they’re peaches and cream and full of rainbows. Surviving them is a must, and the following five phases are a reality for all majors from business to art, nursing to history.

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Recommended for you

9 Homemade 'Roses Are Red' Parodies I Created From Basic Newspaper Headlines

Want a little inappropriate humor to brighten up your day?

1. Roses are red, remember to say please—

2. Roses are red, carrots help your vision—

2. Roses are red, we should save the bees—

4. Roses are red, my mother likes journey—

5. Roses are red, ninja turtles are mutant—

6. Roses are red, six comes before seven—

7. Roses are red, humans can't fly—

8. Roses are red, America has guns—

9. Roses are red, in the opera lives a phantom—

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May the odds be ever in your favor.

Phase One: The “I got this” phase

Phase Two: The “I have time” phase

Phase Three: The uncontrollable sobbing phase

Phase Four: The “help me, I've fallen and I can't get up” phase

Phase Five: The rejoicing phase

10 ways to prepare for finals week—beginning with getting to the library.

Who knows where we would be without them.

1. Thank you for laughing at my jokes, even when they really aren’t funny.

2. Thank you for singing unbearably loud with me all the time.

3. Thank you for letting me vent to you for hours about anything and basically being my personal therapist.

4. Thank you for ordering pizza with me at 2 in the morning.

5. Thank you for all the movie days when we don’t feel like moving.

6. Thank you for being my workout buddy everyday.

7. Thank you for sharing your closets with me.

8. Thank you for taking naps with me at random hours during the day.

9. Thank you for cleaning our home with me when we absolutely need to.

10. Thank you for all the rides when it’s late and you don’t want me to walk home alone in the dark.

11. Thank you for studying with me in our kitchen when we didn't want to go the library.

12. Thank you for making dinner with me.

13. Thank you for helping with my hair, makeup and outfit every time we go out.

14. Thank you for taking countless ugly pictures with me.

15. Thank you for not judging me when I go too long without showering.

16. Thank you for making our apartment feel like a second home.

17. Thank you for being there through all of our boy troubles.

18. Thank you for giving me a hug when I feel homesick.

19. Thank you for getting excited with me when one of us gets a good grade on an exam.

20. Thank you for still being my friend and not judging me when I say or do dumb things.

21. Thank you for telling me what I should do when I am sick.

22. Thank you for dancing horribly with me everywhere we go.

23. Thank you for staying up super late with me when we aren’t tired or can’t sleep.

24. Thank you for being super weird with me.

25. Thank you for all the unforgettable college memories.

26. And most of all, thank you for being the best friends a girl could have.

I may or may not be stressing right now.

1. "What do I have to study for?"

2. "What class do I need to study for the most?"

3. "I’m going to ace this."

4. "Focus!"

5."I have no idea what I'm reading."

6. "I should call my smart friend about this."

7. "I’m going to fail. I’m going to fail."

8. "I’m dropping out of school."

9. "What grade do I have to get on the final to pass the class?"

10. "Oh, no, I have to do good."

11. "I shouldn’t have procrastinated all semester."

12. "I wanna go to bed."

13. "We did not learn this!"

14. "I should go get food."

15. "Why do we even have finals?"

16. "I don’t want to be at the library."

17. "Get off your phone."

18. "I can watch Netflix for like 20 minutes and then go back to studying."

19. "I shouldn’t have watched Netflix."

20. "You have to study now!"

The "Happiest Place on Earth" has a lot of characters with some pretty great advice.

Remember you’re the one who can fill the world with sunshine. — Snow White

The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it. — Rafiki

You don't have time to be timid. You must be bold and daring. — Lumière

If watching is all you're gonna do, then you're gonna watch your life go by without ya. — Laverne

Sometimes the right path is not the easiest one. — Grandmother Willow

Always let your conscience be your guide. — Jiminy Cricket

To infinity and beyond. — Buzz Lightyear

Life is a journey to be experienced, not a problem to be solved. — Pooh

Let it go. — Elsa

If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all. — Thumper

Today's special moments are tomorrow's memories. — Genie

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