I got lucky with my freshman year roommates. We moved into a small, claustrophobic shoe box, and became best friends instantly. Now, I’m aware that not everyone is best friends with their roommate(s) freshman year, but if you happen to have a roommate or two who you love with all your heart, then I think you’ll find some truth to this.
No one wants to settle down freshman year of college. Everyone wants to experiment and meet as many new people as possible, so banking that you’ll end up in committed relationship right off the bat isn’t super realistic. And that can be hard to accept if you’re someone like me who enjoys commitment and the certainty of a relationship.
But there is a silver lining. Remember that roommate you’re madly obsessed with? Right. She should be the person you "date". Not literally date, but she should be the person you commit yourself to for the year. It works because you’re both in the same "adapting to college life" situation and you both need someone to lean on. You’re in a new place, you’re with new people, and you both have no idea how to navigate the new life you’ve just embarked on.
Don’t get me wrong, boys are fun but during your freshman year of college, but that’s about all you’ll get from them. When you crave that consistency and love that you used to get from your sweet high school boyfriend and you look for a guy at the bar to be your new clutch, you’ll become very disappointed when he doesn’t measure up or doesn’t want to be that for you. That’s why you invest in your girlfriends, not just for your freshman year but for the years to come.
Your girlfriends will be the soulmates of your 20's. It’s important to realize that early on and understand that at this age, it’s hard to be in a long committed relationship because everyone is figuring out who they are and what they want, which is always changing...especially on a college campus. Your identity and aspirations change practically every time a new quarter comes around. It starts to become a lot.
You’re going to need some consistency in your life. You’re going to need something that stays static and my best piece of advice is that it should be your commitment and friendship to that best friend roommate of yours. With everything else in your life changing so quickly, you owe it to yourself to find someone who you know won’t leave your side. Someone who you can get into that extra long twin size bed with on a Sunday morning, watch "The Mindy Project" with and laugh about the crazy night you had a mere 12 hours ago. You need a person who can comfort you when you're going through a hard time, and someone who you know will be your person on the good days and on the bad ones.
I put my energy into the people who put their energy into me, and those people were my two roommates. I put all the love and commitment I had saved up from my last relationship into my new relationships with my two best friends because in my eyes, they were the people who deserved my love and attention.
So, the next time you’re feeling like you need to fill a void, whether it be from an old lover or an old high school friend that you miss, fill it with that best friend roommate of yours. She’ll be by your side like you’ll be by hers and when the college boys come and go, she will always be there for you. Even better if you get as lucky as I did last year, and end up with two best friend roommates. Then you can "date" the hell out of both of them.
