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Student Life

The Constitution For College Roommates That Doesn't Exist But Should

Everyone has the right to life, liberty, and pursuit of a 3.5 GPA.

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We the college students need to be somewhat civilized with the person (or people) sharing a small space with us. Many of us didn't grow up sharing a room with somebody, so it can be difficult to compromise, share, and occupy the same area. However, through living with others, there are many unspoken rules that arise as a result of having college roommates that should all be compiled into a constitution. After all, this is how we prevent sitting in RA court:

Amendment 1: No roommate should make any rule prohibiting the other(s) to practice their own religion, culture, or own study habits as long as they don't interfere with the other roommate's ability to feel safe and comfortable in the space.

And all roommates have the right to complain if they feel that these practices are interfering with their own comfort in the room.

​​​Amendment 2: In a well-regulated room, all roommates shall have the right to bear their possessions in any way they choose, in any organizational style (or lack thereof) they wish, should their possessions not encroach on the possessions of the other roommate.

All roommates have the right to be messy, but keep your mess on your side of the room and I'll keep my mess on my side of the room. Plain and simple.

Amendment 3: No roommate shall quarter any overnight guests to stay in the room without consent of the other roommates.

Yes, all roommates want to know if you will be sharing a bed with Collin from Tinder on a Sunday night.

​Amendment 4: ​Every roommate has protection against the other roommates unreasonably searching through their possessions. If any roommate wants to seize something from another roommate, they must ask.

Let's face it: we don't want anyone rummaging through our snacks, clothing, or medications without AT LEAST asking first.

Amendment 5: Every roommate has the right to an equal distribution of the space in the room. All roommates have the right to "plead the fifth" to not have to sacrifice their division of space in the room against their own will to satisfy another roommate.

All rooms have invisible boundaries and everybody knows exactly where those boundaries lie. We have to respect them and not cross them or give them up.

Amendment 6: If any roommate makes an accusation against another roommate, the accused roommate has the right to a fair and speedy mediation with an impartial RA on the floor and all of the roommates involved in the conflict.

But we never want to get to this point, so let's just focus on not breaking the unspoken rules of a roommate constitution.

Amendment 7: In roommate relations, if controversy exceeds what could actually be solved, the right of the roommates is preserved to move out.

Of course, if you can't handle a certain living situation, heck, move out! None of us deserve to live with somebody who is spoiling our college experience.

Amendment 8: No roommate shall have cruel or unusual practices that harm the life, liberty, and success of the other roommate(s).

Yes, waking other roommates up early in the morning after they were studying for an exam until 3 A.M. is cruel. Making a dirty and toxic mess out of the room is cruel. Abusing drugs in the room is cruel. Performing X-rated acts in the bed to distract the other roommates is both cruel and unusual. You get the point.

Amendment 9: Every roommate has the right to basic respect and common courtesy from the other roommate. Forms of respect not explicitly stated still apply and such concepts of "respect" vary from room to room.

In other words, there are rules that we don't even need to say because they're just rules for interacting with other people, not only a college roommate.

Amendment 10: The certain rights that vary from room to room are reserved for the roommates to determine. Such rights include bedtime, leaving the lights on or off, noise level, privacy, and general use of the room.

These rules are the toughest because sometimes we all struggle to compromise to struggle both or all of the people living in the room. But the best roommate situations (even if the roommates aren't the best of friends) involve everyone establishing these rules early on. And then all roommates have the best chance at life, liberty, and the pursuit of a 3.5 GPA in college.

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